Inside This Issue - February
Exclusive: Nia Long Tells All About Painful Relationship Drama and Finding Happiness

Spring Fashion Preview, plus Looks Under $50

Will You Marry Me? 6 Black Men Pop the Question, p. 169

The Million Dollar Black Woman - 3 Real Women Give You Secrets to Building Wealth

28-Day Dating Plan: Where to Meet Him, What to Say, How to Make Him Yours

Believe in Yourself: Get the Confidence to Make All Your Dreams Come True

'We Lost 500 Lbs' A Total Health Makeover


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Other comments on this article.

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-Ruphus

In reference to the article: "My Secret Affair With Strip Clubs", I'm going to say as a black man who is living right and trying to bring our people up as a whole, I am ashamed. Things like this should not even be published, at least not in this way. In order to bring our people back together, yes we need to educate but more positively. Black women or any woman for that matter should not stand for their HUSBAND..(hello) going somewhere like a strip club. If he feels the need to, there are problems in therelationship and/or

-Dash

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-bambini

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-dizionario

I'm commenting on the article on "Affair with Strip Clubs" We have been married for 30 years, he is 50 and I am 49. We married in college but we were high school sweethearts. When my husband suggested we go together it was for me to pick up some moves and learn this lap dance, we've done this for 20 years and I dress up and give dances all the time in the privacy of our home. Maybe you should ask her is she wants to go, sometimes women need excitement too.........

-Samone

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-giovani

I just want to comment on the On His Mind article about men and strip clubs. I am a female strip club (or gentlemen's club) manager and also a former exotic dancer. The points you make are very accurate, however, what women must remember is that once you get married and have children you must still be a wife to that man. I have seen many men come into the club everyday just to hear their strip club 'wife' ask them how their day was or listen to what they have to say. So many women get caught up in being a mother and home

-Nikki

Thanks for this article.

196 The New York City AIDS Experiment We ask the tough questions surrounding the use of foster children as guinea pigs By Kristal Brent Zook

I really like the format in which Essence is progressing. Special Reports like these show that Black Women are not only committed to looking great but do also want to think critically and be inquisitive.

Thanks,


-Zeenab Fowlk

On the subject of Obama for Pres.

Lets save the talk about racial comments until someone actully saybamas sometng cause thats going to come, even if we are in '07 now those demons are going to try n stir things up with that. Lets talk about Obama as presand Hilary as vice pres is america ready for that, and if it sould be the other way (the woman as pres) n Obma as vice. Love to all at essence n shout out to Phoenix, Brown Suga, L.Love, n Detroit

-ROD in Miami

The hub-bub about Biden is simply this. By saying Obama is "clean and articulate", it is implying that the majority of African-Americans are not "clean and articulate". Therefore, he is "exceptional".

-Joy

I AM WHITE. NOW THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY BUT I HAVE ALWAYS

BELIEVED THAT A BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A BEAUTIFUL WHITE WOMAN. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO OFFER AN EXPLANATION.

AND I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION.

WHAT IS THIS TUMULT OVER WHAT BIDEN SAID TO OBAMA. RE:

CLEAN CUT AND ARTICULATE. I SWEAR I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

IF I SAID TO SOMEBODY WHO IS WHITE THAT HE IS CLEAN CUT AND ARTICULATE, I KNOW THAT I WOULD BE PAYING HIM A COMPLIMENT. IF A WHITE PERSON SAID THE SAMETO ME I WO

-JACK

If you look back long ago from the beginning of time there has been the women of the night, prostitution ,harlets and now strippers. This will not go away. It's available for men who want to frequent the clubs to see these women. I think that as long as these place are open for men to attend they will go if they enjoy that type of entertainment.

-t

I am a dancer who has been working for about six years of and on.Working in the club does have its benefits (money) as well as the negatives. As I begin to read this article on the strip club I knew that women would bash the gentle man who frequents the club. Men like to look at women, comeing to the club allows men to release the beast they can look and lust with out feeling like a bad person. Women who don't know anything about the club always seem to think the worst. The women who work in the club honestly are all about t

-Brown Suga

STRIP CLUB CAN STOP A DUDE FROM STRAYING? If an individual has their mind set to do something they will. In all actuality you are cheating. You are lusting after other women when you have you beautiful SEXY wife at home. The fact that a woman other than your wife is giving you gratification and satisfaction is cheating in my sight. Maybe you don't give your wife enough credit. Maybe you're not doing all you should do so that she can release her inner FREAK! I'm a sista' that will slap on a wig anda pair of stilettos

-morethanawoman

to the strip club fellow,, I think it would be all right for you to do this with strip club women, if you are willing to let your wife join a strip club, so that she could set in some strang exciting mans lap and get the same thrill out of it as you are.how would you like that, sounds like fun to me.

-bgillard

I would actually like to take this time and comment on an ad I saw in this issue that bothered me. "The Color of the Cross" depicts a Black Jesus on the cross and white men as pharisess. As a Black Christian, it amazes me the endless number of ways Jesusis left out of his own story. Jesus died for our sins and reconnected us with out Father. Now don't get me wrong, He reigns in spite of our own liimited thinking, but must we reduce the gospel to a superficial race empowerment. His blood is more important than his skin colo

-Tamikha

I found the feature on wedding proposals very nice. It is encouraging to see brothers willing to step up and move forward. It gives hope to the single sisters out there that good Black men are still around.

-Darlyne

In reference to the husband that visits strip

clubs, you are totally disrespecting your wife.

How would you like it if the shoe was on the other

foot. How would you like it if your wife went to

a strip club and let some man put his private parts all up in her face. How would you like it if your wife shared your most intimate secrets with another man, saying that you weren't satisfying her, that's why she came to the strip club was to have another man make her feel good about herself, so that she could gohome and

f

-Buffalo, NewYork

Rice vs. Clinton

I was shocked that Condoleeza Rice's boots came into play in a comparison of Rice vs. Clinton. Is Essence implying its readers are that materialistic?! What was the point of including how she can rock knee high boots?

I don't know what the point was, but it came off as silly and childish. Both of these women are in powerful positions,

-Anonymous

I would like to speak to the "husband" who visits strip clubs and lies openly to his wife. God says that when we marry we become one. If as he states his wife no longer has it going on like the women in the clubs, then he no longer has it going on. Theproblem in their relationship rests on his shoulders as he is the head of that household and God holds him accountable. So if his wife isn't looking all that hot or turning him on, then he needs to address that directly with her and not with some woman in the club. It is n

-callalilly 23

I want to address the gentlmen who visits stripclubs. Alot of women (I said alot of) wouldn't mind visiting a stripclub with their man, hell, some of us wouldn't mind you buying a stripper pole and giving you a show at home.

My issue with the person in this article is that he admits to lying to his wife, he is having deep emotional conversation with these women, and aside from that, my question is What are you doing as her husband to make her feel beautiful and sexy enough to want to do that for you?

Too many times I he

-Shantee

ESSENCE !!!!!!

Damn it what are you guys doing over there? Please take the entire staff on a retreat to breathe some fresh air and hopefully ignite some synergy or creative flow.. Your magazine is lacking in substance..Please take the time to re-evaluateyour direction and stop insulting your readers with this poor journalism. You be better of trying to inspire your readers by searching the country for "average" women with stories to tell.

-EXHAUSTED in PHILLY !!!

I do not think it is disrespectful for husbands or boyfriends to visit strip clubs. Most of the time the men come into the clubs just to have a drink with the fellas,look, tip and leave. Being a dancer myself for over a year I can say from first hand experience that most of the husbands and boyfriends that come in actually pay me to sit there and talk to them, listen to them. Most of them don't get lap dances from me they just enjoy the fact that a beautiful woman is showing them attention. Ladies don't get mad at the dan

-Phoenix , Detroit Michigan

My comments are in reference to the recent article, "My Secret Affair With Strip Clubs." My husband and his business partners have been visiting strip clubs for going on 4 - 5 years now and quite frankly I find it disrespectful to me and our 8 year marriage. Sure he and his "boys" (who are also married and all have children like we do) find nothing wrong with their trips to the club, but when asked if they mind if the wives go the response is always combative on their behalves. It's a double standard that many women, wive

-mmk, I'm not the only one going through

I loved the issue on nia long, i have loved nia long since i saw her for the very first time in boyz in the hood. i was only 7 years old. she has matured into a wonderful woman. i wish her well. keep up the good work essence!

-tanisha monroe

As a young black woman I like to read about people's everyday experiences as well as most other aspects of life. However as a Muslim in America I would like to know why our religion is not highlighted in your magazine. After all, there are many black Muslims who live in America but I see no representation of us in periodicals like yours. Though we are considered a minority in this country, God willing we can find a voice and shed some light on our way of life for the sake of your readers. YOur magazine could setthe record st

-Michelle

As a young black woman I like to read about people's everyday experiences as well as most other aspects of life. However as a Muslim in America I would like to know why our religion is not highlighted in your magazine. After all, there are many black Muslims who live in America but I see no representation of us in periodicals like yours. Though we are considered a minority in this country, God willing we can find a voice and shed some light on our way of life for the sake of your readers.It is a magazinelike yours that coul

-Michelle

As a young black woman I like to read about people's everyday experiences as well as most other aspects of life. However as a Muslim in America I would like to know why our religion is not highlighted in your magazine. After all, there are many black Muslims who live in America but I see no representation of us in periodicals like yours. Though we are considered a minority in this country, God willing we can find a voice and shed some light on our way of life for the sake of your readers.


-Michelle

As a young black woman I like to read about people's everyday experiences as well as most other aspects of life. However as a Muslim in America I would like to know why our religion is not highlighted in your magazine. After all, there are many black Muslims who live in America but I see representation of us in periodicals like yours. THough we are considered a minority in this country, God willing we can find a voice and shed some light on our way of life for the sake of your readers.

-Michelle

I live in the UK and am an avid reader of essence. I particularly love essence for its focus on spirituality and Christianity. I thought the December 2006 issue was phenomenal. Bishop TD Jakes's 10 principles was on point and ministered to me and my circle of influence. Essence is not just a magazine, its a ministry. Keep up the good work.


-Olamide, Kent UK

I read the article from "On his mind" column and I have some words to say. Well if he feels that his behavior isnt damanging why is he hiding it from his wife? He is wrong and not because he is going to the strip club and spending hard earned money on these ladies but because he is being dishonest about where he is going and where he has been. I feel sorry for his wife when she finds out. His only excuse is because he doesnt want to stray and to me that is such a sorry excuse to hide behavior from his wife. Why get marr

-Anita M of Denver Colorado

Regarding On His Mind: I do not know why any man of any race would use such an excuse to see other women naked. It is cheating. Coming home to have sex with your partner while on a erotic high is basically using your wife's body to have sex with the woman who you are thinking about which is basically legalized rape. If the tables were turned I am sure he would have different feelings. On the other hand, if all you want is sex then I guess that wouldn't apply. If a man or woman wants spice in the bedroom why doesn't he/she co

-Bridget

I love this issue of Essence especially the letter from the editor and the article on being confident. It was so inspiring and confirmed what God was speaking into my own life.Thank you for allowing God to use you to help me and other women like me.This issue has motivated me to push myself a little further and pursue excellence in every area of my life. Thank you.


-Faye - nashville

Thank you Essence for featuring Vanessa William beauty tips. She uses PhytoSpecific relaxer (1.800.specific) which is a natural relaxer. It very costly $60.00, but for me it is a life saver. Currently, I have micrononinavasive cancer cells in my breast and can not use products with chemicals in them. This relaxer brought my beauty back to life. Thank you!

-Antoinette

I truly enjoyed the Will You Marry Me article. It was cute, creative and classy. It's not often you see men these days go the extra mile to profess their love for a woman. I like them all, for each one was unique in his very own way. My husband and I enjoyed reading it and voting for our favorite couple. Good luck guys!

-Meloney - Birmingham

I read last month's article of Diddy and Kim, didn't like it! Therefore, I thought this month's article would definitely redeem my faith in Essence, however, I was just left disappointed once more. The interview with Nia Long was in very poor taste, not that you guy made it that way, but just her answers to questions, really really surprised me. You can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. Nia Long, isn't one of you newcomer to this industry, henceforth, I expected more class and sty

-Meloney - Birmingham, AL

I really did not realize how ghetto Nia Long is. Her verbage was quite surprising.

-Knice, NC

Essence is a great magazine and continuously growing. I love the portrayal of women in all facets of life. However, I would love to see more pictures and articles of women with natural hair and how to manage it chemical free. Thank you in advance.

-Ebony

Thank you.. Thank you Essence for finding Yesuf at Paul Labrecque Salon. I have been looking for a fresh new look for 2007, after reading your February issue on Yesuf, I immediately looked online for his location. How wonderful to find him here in NYC,I love my new look. I love this issue of Essence and founded it to be one of your best issue. Hat's off to your editorial dept. for seeking Yesuf and his magical hands with the razor cut. Thank you again. I will continue my subscription after this article.

-Valencia

Essence, I enjoyed this issue. But last month's issue with Puffy and his girlfriend/woman/baby mama on the cover was a bit tasteless. I found the comments made about Jennifer Lopez by Combs' girlfriend tacky. It is yet another example of a black women attacking the so called other woman. To imply that Lopez would have a problem caring for black children is unfair and untrue. Further, why should she? They aren't her kids anyway. And at the end of the day, Mr. Combs comes off as a glorified womanizer who just happens to have m

-Wanda T. Williams

Once again I am disappointed in this magazine. What for this time? The editors and publishers lack of creativity and simple disdain for who Black women are. Utter lack of knowledge as to who their demographics are, or just contempt for them (sorry I just said that). You guys have to; you keep selling the same tried stuff every month. I wonder does Essence total the amount of revenue it loses every month. I wonder if Essence ever looks to stop the leak. Let me clue you in, four pages of cheap, out dated fashion tips. Keep it

-Angela Jones

the subject of strip clubs is hot and probably

on the minds of alot of men after work,even more if you work at night. But like every thing eles you must have moderation or perversion will eat you up. i'm married and i tried telling my wife a couple of time and after the second time she told me it made her feel disrespected. i tried to even add that I only go maybe two or three times a year but she is not haveing it, so it's not a subject I talk about anymore. So I just trust in God that He give me strength to control my

-ROD in FLa

My reaction to the article "28-Day Dating Plan" was a mixed one. While I appreciated and agreed with most of the article, I did take issue with a couple of the "tips". More specifically numbers 5 and 20. Overall some good advice but all must rememberto take it with a grain of salt.

-Nick

It brings me a mount of sadness to know that individuals believe that going to strip clubs is harmless. What happened to the sanctitiy in marriages? What about commitment in relationships? It is important for us women to understand that this too is a form of adultry simply because our mates are seeking sexual arousal from someone other than us.

-G. Jones

If I had a man that did that i would want him to let me know about it because I would like to go with him,been that and did that already in the past, and afterward it was on for us. Just get involved with one another and listen.

-L. Love

Genlemen's clubs have been around for a lomg time but they are not places to frequent. The only way to avoid temptation is to flee from it all together whenever possible. We should always pray for the ability to see all temptation as our chance to becomestronger.

-E. Johnson

I have to agree with Lady Z and Miss Chaitoo, I myself see strip clubs as harmless fun. I have too gone with my husband and not had any problems with it. The problem is that if your man has to keep a secret from you what is wrong in your relationship? Sometimes we as women need to evaluate how we handle things when it comes to our men and "small situations". Everything is really not about us and sometimes just about them. Also where is the trust factor in you for him if you have to question what he is doing all the time. Tha

-JLOVE

My comments are in reference to the article, My Secret Affair With Strip Clubs". "Secrets" can cause the demise of any relationship. When one partner needs something in the relationship, this is the time when the two of them should sit down and discussthese needs, not arguing or putting each other down. Once the problem has been discussed, you should offer some of your solutions until you can find one that will work for the both of you.

Believe me brother, your wife is lacking something from you also. For instance, if

-Alexandra Brown

I would like to comment on "My Secret Affair With Strip Clubs". My first question would be why are you still married, and if by going to the strip club is so harmless, then why should you keep things that are harmless away from your wife. See, she is thinking you are one place when actually your at the club getting your hopes up and giving money to one that you could be spending on your wife.If some men would just think outside the box, they would know that having a womamn put everything six inches from your face is not erot

-Natasha Brown

I'm writing in reference to the article "My Secret Affair With Strip Clubs" I agree with Miss Chaitoo. I'm 23 and I wouldn't have a problem if my man went to strip clubs. In fact I would tag along and learn some new tricks of my own. It's good to keep your love life spicy. So I would say that the guy should bring up the situation with his wife or at least ask her if she would like to come along with him. YOu never know, she may just agree to it. Hope everything works out...

-Lady Z

I just enjoy reading Essence. I read the self-help articles; anything about building wealth,fashion,& relationship. Essence is the #1 magazine for people of color. Thanks!


-Davina Bowden, North Carolina

My comment is regarding the article titiled "My Secret Affair with Strip Clubs". I am a 45 year old woman and I personally don't see anything wrong with gentlemen, married or single, going to strip clubs to let off a little steam, pick up a little spice,or enjoying the fantasy. My significant other visits these clubs and I have gone with him on several occasions. And I must admit, we both left the club aroused! Like the brother said,'It may help him from doing other things.' I agree, it's harmless fun.

-Donna Chaitoo, New Jersey

Ilove essence i like read what's new with make-up

whats hot and not. And one year essence did around the way business women. I would love to see that again but if not i will still buy essence. At the end of the day essence is just fabulos for women of color. Thank you!

-Shayla Scarbrough

I love Essence and I've been waiting for the new one to come out in stores! I can't wait to read about the proposals and Nia Long's drama, of course. Love the magazine. Thank you for being everything women of color want in a magazine. I have gotten a few good book recommendations from you too. Thanks!

-Sonia Yemane

-Anonymous

I have to admit, I've been rather disappointed with the issues lately, Essence was beginning to read more like a Cosmo or some other fluff magazine, filled with superficial issues and shallow articles - but Essence, boy did you redeem yourself this month! I cannot put this issue down, I've read almost ever single article and have carried it around with me since it came in the mail. Please keep helping Black Women reach their full potential with your inspiring articles!

-Lela

I love your magazine! I remember reading my mom's old copies as a child and thinking how beautiful these women were. More over that they looked like me! As an adult, I am a faithful subcriber to Essence and I look forward to sharing them and the positive messages you send with my daughter one day.


-Teneysia Perry-Henderson, NC

I love this issue!!! Is so refreshing to see stars and "real people" express their issues so beautifully!!!!


-P. Bond Memphis, TN

I really enjoy reading Essence. I like the diversity of the content; it appeals to all women of color everywhere,all ages,and all different walks of life I really like the stories, health and beauty, and the fasion and last but not least

what black men think and how they feel about us black women.

editors please dont take that "hate mail" seriously you all are doing a wonderful job!!

thats why your writting the stories and they are not.

-T. Montgomery

I THINK ESSENCE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO WOMEN OF COLOR WE TRULY NEEDED IT IT GIVES A LOT OF INSIGHT TO LIFE I WONT EVER B WITHOUT MINES.

-GWEN