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R. Kelly's Wife Speak Out: Notes on a Scandal
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After more than a decade of living in her husband’s shadow, Andrea Kelly, the
estranged wife of embattled R&B crooner R. Kelly, sits down in an exclusive interview to talk about separating from him, starting life over, and, oh yes, that tape
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By Natalie Y. Moore
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A LIFE APART
Andrea will not serve as a choreographer on projects for R.Kelly’s new album, due out this month. The Kellys live in separate residences: She stays in the burbs with the children, while he lives elsewhere. These days she’s focused on her own business, bridging the world of ballerinas and hip-hop dancers. She’s also working on a Soul Kittens Cabaret project with Nicci Gilbert of Brownstone and has auditioned for dance parts in The Color Purple even as she yearns to perform in Chicago. Her dream, she says, is to work with Tyler Perry on a musical and to dance in the performances of neosoul artists such as Erykah Badu, Common and Raheem DeVaughn.
On another spring afternoon, Andrea sips coffee at one of her favorite bars near Chicago’s downtown. She’s held it together through the years, through all the jokes, the talk, the women lusting after her husband. She’s even overheard banter about him while at the hair salon, from women clueless about her Presence. “Oooh, that R. Kelly is fine. I’d have all his babies,” they croon.
“That celebrity life all these people are trying to go after? There’s heartaches, there’s pain, good days and bad days,” Andrea says. “I know what I can carry and what I can’t. And if it gets too heavy I’m going to give it to God.’’
She wants people to know that being Mrs. R. Kelly does not define who she is. Her voice sharpens when she explains the importance of a strong identity. “I was a dancer before I met Robert, and I’ll be a dancer long after,” she insists. “If he were to die tomorrow, what am I? Who am I? Can I take care of myself? Would I be all right? Yes, I would. Just because I was on his stage, that did not make me a dancer; it did not make me a choreographer; it just presented me to the world. I was all those things before him.”
That doesn’t mean she isn’t loyal to her spouse. When asked, “Do you believe the allegations about your husband?” she responds without hesitation that she absolutely does not, suggesting it’s all a lie and that her husband is not the man on the tape. “C’mon. Who would believe all that? That’s why they call them allegations,” she says.
But did she see the tape?
“Why would you ask that question of a woman married with children?” she says. “It’s ludicrous to ask me a question like that. Really, would you want someone to ask you that? And if they did ask you, would you see the tape?” All that to say, no, she hasn’t seen the tape and never looked for it. And for all those people who sought out the tape, she says, check your morals.
Still, despite her vocal support of her husband, Andrea says she won’t be accompanying him to his court appearances. All the media, all the mess. Besides, she’s got to be with the children. “I will take care of the home front,’’ she says and, with perfect comedic timing, adds, “There is a war going on, and they don’t send every soldier in America to Iraq. I’ve got to be homeland defense.”
While she may not see her husband every day, they talk daily, usually about the children. He’s taken them on tour while she was on a dancing gig. “That we filed for divorce is not that important,” she insists, “but it’s how we are dealing with each other. It’s very positive.”
For those who wonder how she could still love and laugh with the man at the center of such sordid accusations, well, she has an answer. “You cannot judge me by your standards,” she says. “You go into life with that mind-set of knowing it’s going to be hard, there are going to be bad days, people are going to say things that are going to hurt you. That’s always going to be true. But I just have to stand firm in who I am and let you know that you may throw darts at me, but you’re not going to break me.”
Natalie Y. Moore is a Chicago journalist. She is coauthor of Deconstructing Tyrone: A New Look at Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation (Cleis Press).
Click on the related articles below to read more from Andrea Kelly and to see a few of her personal photos.>>
Read our cover story on singer Mary J. Blige! |
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-5 latest comments
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I wish Andrea the best but I wish that people would start telling the truth and if they cant be totally honest just dont say nothing. This was a public relations interview that was mulled over by a repersentative of some sort. If she didn't want to tell the truth just stay in the background and be quiet. She didn't have to publicly dog him out but she could've helped someone but the only people she was obviously trying to help was herself and her husband.
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-JUST BE HONEST
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Mrs. Kelly handled herself like a real woman in her interview. She is a very strong woman. If R. kelly is smart like I think he is, He need to try to get back with her. A good woman is hard to find.
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-Shaka Finnell - California
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I may not agree with everything Mrs. Kelly had to say, but one thing for sure, I give her crazy respect for beinf so positive and determined and for holding on to who she is. She's going through a lot, that is undenably true.
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-Ruthi
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There are alot of people who believe in standing by your man and I do too but, when you start to feel unsafe in your own home, get hit or yelled at for simple things or are with someone who is angry all the time. Im sorry but thats when things have gone to far and you have to stand up and be a woman and regain your happiness without him.As long as you have the man above in your life thats all that matters.All that other crap is just that crap.I wish Andrea the best.
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-OUR RELATIONSHIP W/THE MAN ABOVE
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All woman across the world experience being with a man who has been unfaithful. We as women tend to judge the woman for staying. Leaving someone is hard and it is a process that have to take place before you can get the courage to end the relationship. It is hard to divorce the person you love and easier to say goodbye to the one you do not love. Andrea be bless and remember that someone is currrently experiencing the same thing or maybe a worser situation. I will keep your family in my prayers.
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-Pamela , Bakersfield CA
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