Black In America: A Special Report

Suicide Watch:
The deaths of offsprings of two prominent Black Americans caught our attention. Now experts say the growing number of our young men taking their own lives sheds light on an alarming trend
By: Joseph Williams

Growing up in a rough neighborhood, surrounded by drug addiction, Antoine Quichocho was 13 when suicide first seemed like a good idea. "Sometimes I wouldn't see my mother for a week," he says of his childhood in Birmingham, Alabama. Mounting anger led him to the streets, running cocaine for drug dealers and drinking every day. "I didn't want to go on," he says. "I would take my gun and put it in my mouth, and think about killing myself."

He isn't alone. The suicide rate among young Black men has doubled since 1980, making it the third leading cause of death among Black males ages 15 to 24. And the problem afflicts both at-risk youth like Quichocho and men from affluent, intact families.

The suicides of James Dungy, 18, son of NFL coach Tony Dungy, in 2005, and Randy Parker, 23, stepson of legendary rapper KRS-One, last July, have sounded an alarm, says Dr. Annelle B. Primm of the American Psychiatric Association. "Young Black men are looked upon in a negative way that corrodes their self-esteem and self-value," she says. "That translates into a sense of hopelessness." Fearing the appearance of weakness, men in distress can be reluctant to speak out. "As a community, we've got to destigmatize seeking help for emotional concerns," says University of Michigan assistant professor Sean Joe.

To make matters worse, the stigma attached to mental illness in our community often leads friends and family to overlook a young man's despair, says Donna Holland Barnes, Ph.D., president of the National Organization of People of Color Against Suicide. "They expect them to snap out of it," she says. Yet Barnes believes loved ones' support is key to saving troubled young men.

The help Quichocho needed came from therapy as well as his grandmother, who took him to live with her in the Alabama countryside. "She allowed us to be kids," Quichocho recalls. "Kept us in church and allowed us to be close to God." Now 27, he is a recent Howard University graduate. Quichocho also received psychological counseling at age 21 over the course of several months. "I think professional help is the best thing," he says. "It helps to talk to someone." As for other advice to any troubled young man who is like he once was, he says, "I would tell him to stay strong. You'll be a lot prouder for going through your struggle. What doesn't kill you definitely makes you stronger."

 

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As the mother of a young black male, sometimes I find myself in a position of helplessness because my son finds it difficult to open up and talk about his feelings (as do many males). At times, he seems so sad and disconnected. Almost as if he's at the brink of despair. Having suffered through depression myself, I recognize the signs. I've gotten him more active and involved in extra curriculars and the church, and the loving and supportive envirnment has really improved his mood and outlook. I would say to all black mothers to really pay attention to your children. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own issues that we fail to recognize that our children have them too. Even more so than we did at their age.
3:05 PM | Anonymous
I totally understand this young man's struggle. I have a cousin who is out in the streets now doing god knows what! The family is worried and we've tried everything. Both of his parents have be in and out jail and on drugs since and before his brith. He uses that as his escapegoat...what do you do? we as a family pulled together and have collectivley raised him for 15 years. He is fed he has a home he has great people all around him that her can leanon even two older cousin role models.

I know kids needattention and I know that sitting down with them every night for homework, reading a book and/or discussing the days events does pay off for some. I am a mother of 2 and it truly hurts me to see that some parents take joy out being a failure. What i mean by this is.....theyrather party or sleep pr smoke or drink than spend time with their own children. we have to step up and grow up...this is our younger generation here! We made the choice to have them and it is our responsilibilty

5:13 PM | Brandi Whitehead
Sometimes I think about racism and how being Black in America is so tough. Eventhough it's tough I'm proud to be black. The bible says that the lord will never give you more than you can handle. I truly belive that,the struggles I go through as a black man only make me stronger. Truly, the world seems to be a mess. I can only do my part to make it a better place. I'm going to continue to do whatever I can to rid this world of racism. I know I am only one person but one person can do amazing thingsif they try.
11:28 PM | Anonymous
Thank you for doing this article. I hope Essence continues to examine the topic of mental illness because it is going undiagnosed and untreated in our communities, and it is resulting in some very tragic outcomes.
1:02 AM | Jacki
Reading this article leaves me no choice, but to remind me of the days I attepted suicide. I can only say that God had a purpose for me that I could not realize at those desperate times in my life. My life was in shambles, (you name it, I was in it) and I could not see a future worth living for. I have realized that if you don't think you have a purpose, life seems hopeless, and if you don't have Hope, You have nothing. That is why I must reach out in hopes that I might help someone. I am now 42, with 4 wonderful children and a beautiful wife. I owe everything I have to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I now know that God did not put me on this earth, to do my own thing. He put YOU and ME on this earth to fulfill HIS purpose, and until WE seek HIS direction for OUR lives, WE will be searching in all the wrong places. THIS IS REAL. GOD LOVES YOU AND ME, and HE wants the best for US, but WE MUST submit to HIS CALLING. And, ask HIM to help us fulfill HIS purpose in OUR lives, then WE will
12:47 AM | jon mark
This article is was heart breaking as well as heart filling for me. Heart breaking because, being from Birmingham and being in a relationship with my best friend since highschool I know that a lot of brothers go through these types of feelings. It's hard for them out in the streets. Even when they are presented with alternative routes (ie, scholastic or athletic scholarships) they still have that negaqtivity that comes fromt he community. And if it's not the negativity it's the pressure to feel like they alone have to change the situation for their families. It's not fair to them. I watch as my boyfriend attempts to care for his mother because her husband doesn't want to be about his business, I watch him try to help out his older brother who won't get his life together, as well as be a positive impact in his own sons life. It's hard to see him juggling so many titles and being so much to so many other people. It's like he can't begin to develop something for himself...This arti
4:23 PM | 2Blessed
I think if this up and coming generation should be taught parenting, as a course in school. it would give our people a better chance for sucess in life. The need is to start early enough is because babies are having babies. Good parents often produce good children. I rmemember growing up and being told "take care of your self, no one is going to take care of you. This was true to an extent. (But when you get there), reach back and pull up the others,because it does take a tribe to raise a child. And yes you are your brothers keeper.
5:01 PM | Anonymous