This week on ESSENCE's Yes, Girl! podcast, relationship and lifestyle expert and author Demetria Lucas D'Oyley tells it like it is when it comes to Black women and matters of the heart. She serves up her special brand of real talk on the gross inaccuracy still being spread that 42% of Black women are unmarried and spills tea about where some available men are hiding for all those on the lookout for love.
So, what is the state of Black love?
"We’ve always been getting married to the majority," Lucas D'Oyley told Senior Digital Love and Relationships Editor and Yes, Girl! co-host Charli Penn. "The vast majority of Black women always got married and I think that there was so much focus on the single women. Like the 42%, [and] even with that stat, majority of women got married and a majority of Black women still do get married at that point. Just because you’re not married doesn’t mean that you’re not in a happy, committed relationship. It doesn’t mean that you’re not engaged it doesn’t mean that you’re not, like, single and living and loving and traveling and being like ‘I’m good and not looking.’"
We hear you, Demetria.
"That statistic made it seem like everyone was just in crisis," the former reality star continued. "Until that statistic came out, people were like, 'ok, it might be difficult to meet someone,’ but I still think there was hope. Then that statistic came out and everywhere people were like, 'ok, i’m never getting married, like oh my gosh, there are no men.'"
Which is false, by the way, according to D'Oyley.
The relationship expert is often asked where single women should go to potentially meet the man of their dreams, and the Don't Waste Your Pretty author doesn't hold back on suggesting trying some place that is pretty unsuspecting.
"Guys are everywhere and you don’t know if someone is good or bad or dateable or compatible or not. You have to meet them and converse with them and that’s really the only way to tell. Like I wish there was like a really grand place. I will say this, if you want to tip the odds of meeting men, in your favor you kind of need to go places where there are lots of men. My favorite place is recommend is tech conferences."
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That's right, tech conferences are the new hotspot for guys to make your prize. You heard it here first.
Comic Con, here we come!