You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
I've been married to my husband for almost twenty years. However, I have been having not only a sexual but an emotional relationship with his brother. Our love affair has been going on for 14 years. We were exposed but we never stopped seeing each other.
It's gotten so bad that now we don't even try to hide it because we will meet in broad daylight with no shame. How can I get caught up in a bad situation like this? I was that woman that always said "I would never, how could she?" He tells me he loves me and says he's never leaving me alone. I feel like I love him as well.
I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore! I feel like a total failure! I want this to end. Please help!
In love with both men
You said you want this to end. Really? I am sorry but I have a hard time believing that. I am not sure if you are trying to convince yourself or someone else that you want the relationship to end. Once you are truly ready for it to end, you would end it with a simple "good bye...it is over!"
I am actually surprised that after having an extramarital affair for 14 years with your brother-in-law that your husband has not ended the relationship. Given that you and your brother-in-law do not appear to be discreet with your relationship, your husband is bound to know.
The fact that you are still married says volumes about the state of your marriage. If you and your brother-in-law truly love one another, why haven't you divorced your husband in order to have an honest relationship with him. My guess is that your brother-in-law is enjoying the privileges of the relationship without the commitment. Of course he is not "ever leaving you alone!"
Why should he? He is definitely having his cake and eating it too. He will continue to as long as you allow him. That is a choice that you must make. My question is...what choice will you make?
You must take a long hard look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. I recommend that you seek psychotherapy to work through issues and understand how and why you find yourself in this position at this point of your life. If you want to stop the pain, you must get treatment and heal from the inside out. --Dr Sherry
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