Ask Dr. Sherry: 'My Husband and I Are Dating Other People, But I Still Want to Save Our Marriage’

What to do when a marriage has gone wrong, love is still there but other people are involved? Dr. Sherry spills the tea on what to do about this emotional rollercoaster. 

You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values now it's your turn to sit in her chair...

 

I am going through a serious ordeal in my marriage. My husband and I have been separated since October of 2015 but we've continued to see each other. In between the times when we aren't together and when we are, I have caught him with another woman but I also happened to be seeing someone who was in a similar situation as me where he and his wife were separated. I feel like the guy I was entertaining was still intimately involved with his wife who had a boyfriend as well. When I am with my husband, one minute we decide that we want to work it out and the next minute we can't stand one another. I'm in love with the other man but I love my husband too. Please help because I am so unsure of what to do.


Sincerely,
Ms. Confused

 

Hey Sis, 

Confused may be an understatement. For some reason, it sounds as if you have been playing a game of "Twister"! You and your husband have been really busy. It is hard to understand who is with whom. You both have been busy with other people who are also busy.  One of the problems is that no one is committed or emotionally available to anyone. It is apparent that you and your husband had unfinished business when you separated. Why go through a separation if you are going to continue to sexually involved and see one another? It is obvious that being sexually active with your estranged husband is not the solution to your marital problems. You must become clear with what and who you want in your life. Before you can have a healthy relationship with anyone, you must understand yourself. In order to do this, you must be honest with yourself. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to help understand the issues with your husband and what you are really looking for in a relationship. If you continue to play games, you will get played! If you want more, do not settle for less.  --Dr. Sherry

 

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Filed under: Love & Sex