An Open Letter In Defense Of Keshia Knight Pulliam’s Baby Girl

Photo by Earl Gibson III/Getty Images
"Resist your judgement on how she came to be and focus on her wellbeing and all the babies making their way into the world."

We hoped it was a lie: Ed Hartwell Has Filed For Divorce From Wife Keshia Knight-Pulliam.
 
Aren’t they still newlyweds? Didn’t she just announce her pregnancy with a baby girl due later this year and show off her cute bump? But it seems the whirlwind romance of all-grown-up Rudy and a Real Househusband has come to a sad and unexpected demise. In this swipe right, on demand society the divorce filing was in our faces before even the woman it was addressed to.
 
But the details of what happened between this couple can’t be our main concern. Our priority has to be the health of this mother-to-be and the baby girl growing inside her womb and sending them all the love their hearts can hold. What happens in utero impacts the rest of our lives.
 
Knight-Pulliam’s daughter has not made her debut. And yet I already feel a kindred connection to her. I was in utero as my own parent’s marriage declined.  At  Mother’s Day brunch this year, my mom told me more of the story of my origin, of her and my father already growing a part and considering separation before I jumped in her womb. They tried to rekindle once the pregnancy was revealed, but they eventually split. In the Mother’s Day sermon earlier that Sunday, the minister at Wheat Street Baptist Church in Atlanta encouraged parents to start young ministering to their children, as babies who were played classical music while in the womb had higher IQ, so praying over our babies can grow their spiritual life.
 
I thought about that has my mother recounted the relationship roller coaster of her pregnancy with me. It sunk in that while in my mother’s womb, I heard and felt any of her angst, including her uncertainty of her marriage. Thankfully, I also felt her commitment to me that I would be loved no matter what.  Knowing my front row seat to my parent’s relationship made it clear my interest in what makes couples work, which led me to this job as ESSENCE Lifestyle & Relationships Editor, is no coincidence.
 
Keisha Knight-Pulliam’s baby is also listening and feeding off the energy of her surroundings and us, the society she will enter. If she could send us a message I’m sure it would include, “I can hear you.” She is not a faceless headline, but a woman in the making, already impacted by the lives and decisions of her parents. Resist your judgement of how she came to be and focus on her wellbeing and all the babies making their way to the world. We can send her love and be the light in our own relationships and families.
 
Dear Baby Girl, we stand guard for your #blackgirlmagic as you prepare for your debut. You are loved.

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