You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I have a situation I need advice on. My sister's husband's brother sent me a private message via Facebook that I found offensive and disrespectful. I haven't told my sister or brother in law because I didn't want to cause anyone any problems, but I know if I ignore it will eventually affect our relationships. If we are both invited to the same event I will not feel comfortable in his brother’s presence. Help! What do I do?
Regardless if it is your sister's husband's brother or anyone else, you do not allow people to disrespect you—end of story. If you do not confront him, it will send the message that you are okay with his comments. You do not need your sister or brother in law's input or permission to respond. Given that it was not sent as a group message, don't involve others in your response. Be an adult and respond to his private Facebook message with a private message. You must be very direct in telling him that you found his message offensive and disrespectful and why. Do not sugar coat what you need to say because you do not want to send mixed messages. If he dares respond to you with anything short of a sincere apology, please unfriend him immediately and block him from contacting you. If he continues to contact you, that would be the time to inform your sister and brother-in-law about what has happened, and more importantly, what you plan to do. Do not feel guilty for demanding respect from others. If you want more respect, do not settle for less. -- Dr. Sherry
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