Coach Felicia: Get Ready for Love

Photo by Keith Major
Here are some tips to help you be single and satisfied on Valentine's Day.

I’ve never been one to enjoy the company of cynics, but I have to admit it–there are plenty of Valentine’s Days that I cast my vote with the haters. The commercials, the chocolate, the roses and overcrowded restaurants can be a bit much. But in all fairness, my attitude just might stem from the fact that I am single.

Coach Felicia: Stuck in a Rut?

Truth be told, I normally don’t mind Valentine’s Day at all. Yes, it is a commercialization of love to some extent, but so what? Few things are more beautiful than romance. But, there were plenty of years when I dreaded February 14th because it served as a painful reminder of my lack. Every hand-holding couple reminded me that I was alone, while every display of affection made me feel unlovable. But eventually…I learned my worth!

Although I am well past my 20s and 30s, I still hope to spend my graying years with someone who “gets me.” Even though marriage is something I desire, more than being someone’s “person,” I want to be a woman who knows how to value and love herself first!

If you’re bemoaning Valentine’s Day and wondering if your turn for love is ever coming, I want to encourage you to have the right focus in your mind and heart as you wait. Here are some tips to help you be single and satisfied:

1. Know that reality is better than fairy tales. Prince Charming only exists in books. There are good men out there—but they have faults. They get grouchy; have smelly feet, some of them haven’t learned how to open car doors or to pay full attention when you’re talking. Yes, even the good ones can frustrate you. While waiting for love, hold on to your high standards, but make sure the man you seek doesn’t only exist in romance novels. When we know what really matters, it makes it easier for us to love.

2. He’s not coming with a glass slipper. Last week during one of my corporate group coaching sessions, I met an attractive, forward-thinking young lady. Satisfied with life and her career, she told me that she had it all and was just waiting to share it with the right guy. I asked, “So what are you doing to meet him?” Her response, “I don’t think I should have to do all of that.” I sighed because her attitude and thinking will only lead to frustration. While I’ve heard plenty of stories of people finding love when they least expected it, those individuals were still putting themselves in places to be discovered. Online dating is a reality of our modern world. But we have to be careful to not mistake profile browsing as a substitute for face-to-face interaction.

3. Move! Nobody chases an idle bus. You must be in motion, working on yourself and your dreams to attract the kind of person who will help you develop. Living a balanced life with discipline and goals is key to making sure you don’t lose yourself in the search for a relationship. We’re all more interesting when we are pursuing our passions. Purpose makes you attractive! If your sole focus is being in a relationship, then you’re lacking the balance that will make you an asset to your future partner. 

Do Your Work! Decide what you’re going to do until love finds you.

Define Your Wealth!  “My life is full of love and freedom as I wait for God’s timing!”

Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Executive Coach who empowers her clients to “Turn their Worth into Wealth” as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO their WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make!” seminar MP3 at!

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