Coach Felicia: Stuck in a Rut?

Photo by Keith Major
"Fear speaks loudly and boldly when we are in a rut."

I have a well-deserved reputation for being late, but in 2016, I am committed to getting better. Besides being the right thing to do, I want to be an example for my niece, Nia. I’ve dropped her to school in the mornings for the past two weeks. Every day I tell her, “We have to be on time.” Last Tuesday, our drive to school was smooth sailing. We left in plenty of time, the traffic lights were all green and the slow drivers must have chosen to stay home. Suddenly, when only five minutes away, we got caught by a long red light. Knowing we had time to spare, I was calm. My niece, however, grew frustrated and asked, “Auntie, are we stuck? Are we going to be late?” I replied, “No, we’re just waiting.”

Sometimes in life everything is going along smoothly and the path to what we want is clear. Then, suddenly, we get caught by one of life’s red lights. When this happens, it is important that we understand the difference between waiting and being stuck. Once we contextualize our experience, we will know what to do next.

When we are waiting for something, we have done all that we know we can do in order to move forward. It’s just a matter of time and God’s wisdom. While it can be emotionally daunting, the key to surviving waiting seasons is to maintain the right attitude and stay tuned-in to our intuition.

Conversely, we can sometimes find ourselves stuck in ruts. Unlike when we are simply waiting for God’s timing, our ruts occur when God is waiting on us!

Fear speaks loudly and boldly when we are in a rut. We know what we want to do and need to do, but the possibility of failure convinces us that where we are is better.

Here are some things we can do when we know that we’re not simply waiting for the light to change, but are stuck:

1. Identify the Hold Ups: We must take the time to slow down and write down everything we’ve been telling ourselves is an impossible obstacle. We can get so accustomed to hearing our own excuses for not making needed changes, that we fail to question our thinking or to develop the necessary strategies to change it.  Whatever it is that is in your life that you want to change, write it down.

2. Question Reality: Thinking it doesn’t make it right! Go through every item on your “Hold Up” list and ask yourself, “What can I do to change this?” Most times we simply need to slow down and strategize a solution. It may require a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but many of us already know what we need to do for change. If there is anything on your list that you simply believe is impossible to change, pray about it and release it. Once you’ve let it go mentally—it can no longer distract your focus!

3. Shift to When and Win!: Thinking and speaking in the land of “if,” can lead to the land of “never.” We will never get what we want until we learn to see life through a “when” lens. If you want something, stop saying, “If…” It may keep emotions safe, but it also keeps us stuck. Saying when will:
a) Shift you to a mood of expectation
b) Take you out of passivity and remind you of your need to take the actions that will transform your life

Do Your Work! Take action on Steps 1-3!

Define Your Wealth! Every day affirm, “I do all that I can to live my best life!”

Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Executive Coach who empowers her clients to “Turn their Worth into Wealth” as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO their WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make!” seminar MP3 at!

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