Ask Dr. Sherry: ‘I Can’t Find A Man Because I Have Four Kids!’

“You are looking in all the wrong places for someone to come and rescue you from your life,” says Dr. Sherry.

You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...

Dear Dr. Sherry,

Hi Dr. Sherry I’m really full of unhappiness and depression right now. When I’m alone, all the mistakes I have done in the past seem to really make me more depressed. I have four kids, Dr. Sherry. I don’t have work right now and my mom is helping me sustain my kids in school and provide food for them. There father is a drug addict and we are broken up now. I keep on looking on websites to find a boyfriend or a husband to be, but I feel no one will take me seriously because I have four kids already. I am 34-years- old. What can I do not to be depressed? Do I not depend on dating websites to find a true love? Should I focus on my kids instead? I feel I’m hopeless and helpless. I feel stuck with my kids, but I really love them so much. What should I do, Dr. Sherry?

Signed,

Anonymous

Dear Sis,

Really?! It seems as if your life has crumbled around you and you are worried about finding a boyfriend or husband on a website. Again, really sis? You are looking in all the wrong places for someone to come and rescue you from your life. Sometimes in life, we have to decide to rescue ourselves. You cannot and should not depend on a man, your mother or anyone else to take care of you and your four children. Your children are your responsibility. It is time to focus on you and your children. You must prepare to take care of your children and your other responsibilities by pulling yourself together and getting the help you need for depression and/or other emotional issues. I highly recommend that you seek individual therapy to address these issues. Feeling hopeless and helpless are common symptoms of depression. Those feelings will continue until you take a long hard look inward and work through issues. You cannot change yesterday so why waste your energy dwelling on the past. You have an opportunity to do something different in the future if you chose but you must make the choice. In order to have something different in life, you must do something different in life. It may take a lot of effort and some time but anything worth having is worth working for. Your situation is serious, but not hopeless!  Dr. Sherry

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