You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Dear Dr. Sherry,
My fiancé cheated on me with someone I wouldn't call a friend but rather an associate. He apologies and says he wants to work on our family, but his actions are different and now I have no self-confidence. I am sad all the time. I don't know how to get my self-esteem back. Please help me!
Would it matter if your fiancé was cheating with your friend versus your associate? It really doesn't matter whom he cheated with, the point is that he cheated! You seem to be looking for someone other than your fiancé to be angry with right now. His apology and comment regarding wanting to work on your family and his behavior does not match. Now that you see this, accept it for what it is worth and decide how you are going to respond.
He cheated on you and you lost your self-confidence. Unfortunately, it is highly likely that both your self-confidence and self-esteem were lost before you found out that he had cheated on you. How you feel about yourself should be in your control and nothing to do about your fiancé. You are giving him way too much control and power over your life. As a result of his behavior, you have become "sad all the time,” which is a clear sign of depression. What he chose to do by cheating was his choice and how you choose to respond will be your choice. You must decide that you are worth more love than you are receiving from your fiancé. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to take a close look at your self-esteem and depression. If you want more in life, do not settle for less. Okay? – Dr. Sherry
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