Ask Dr. Sherry: 'My Husband Thinks I’m Cold In Bed'

A wife who fears she may lose her husband if she doesn’t turn up the heat between the sheets gets help from our resident expert.

You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...

Dr. Sherry,

I have been with my husband for a total of eight years now and we’ve been married for three. He's always told me that I don't know how to seduce him and I’m cold to him after sex. This is true. I love my husband very much and he is my best friend, but in the bedroom I don't know how to reciprocate the love and affection he gives to me. The feelings, sexuality and desire are there, however, it seems that I cannot release them. I am afraid that one day my marriage will dissolve because of this. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Scared Of Being Alone

Dear Sis,

Sex and romance should be an enjoyable part of a marriage. Both individuals should be satisfied sexually. It is not unusual for couples to lose the sexual spark in their relationship over time. This is especially true for females. Many times the interest in sex and romance is lost in the day-to-day routine. If you were not very seductive and cuddly at the beginning of your relationship, I am not surprised that you are not now. That does not mean that you can't change. Sex and sexual needs are something that couples need to talk about early in their relationship. It is a conversation uncomfortable to some, but it is necessary. Given that you still have a sexual desire, you should have a physical examination to rule out possible medical problems. Individual therapy is also needed to work through psychological issues that may be interfering with your sexual life. Lastly, sex therapy for you and your husband is needed to help both of you learn to meet each other's sexual needs. This can help rekindle sexual sparks while having fun doing it. Rather than fear the worst, look forward to the best in having fireworks in the bedroom. Good luck to you both! – Dr. Sherry  

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Filed under: Love & Sex