You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
I am currently with my boyfriend and we’ve been going for a year now. All we do is quarrel all the time. Each week is a quarrel and then a break up. I would like to know what to do. He was very insecure about my male friends until I eventually gave them up, but he keeps on talking to his female coworkers even though he says he doesn’t. We do have some insecurity issues because of our pasts, and they are things that both of us need to work out. I want to know if the relationship is worth fighting for or if I should just let it go. He's really been there for me through my time of need and he's great with my son; he’s taken him as his own. Our main issue is he thinks that I'm talking and flirting with other men, and I think he is doing the same because he's accusing me of it. Which bridge do we cross? Help!
Any relationship is worth fighting for if there is something or someone worth the fight. You must ask yourself: What am I fighting for and what will I have if I won? Relationships can be difficult, but it should not be a weekly argument and breakup. The fact that you "quarrel all the time" after almost a year together suggests that your relationship has never been healthy and is currently on life support. I agree that both of you have major insecurity issues, but you both also have immaturity issues. Where is the trust? Relationships are built on trust among other things. There is no trust and never has been any in your relationship. So, what is keeping you together? Is it that your boyfriend is there when you need him and has accepted your son as his own? Those things are good but are they enough to built a solid relationship on? Other women or other men are not the problem with your relationship. The problem is with the two of you. Both of you must decide if you are ready to grow up and take a real look at yourselves individually and together. I recommend that you seek couples therapy and work through all the issues. Be honest with yourself. If you want more, why are you settling for less? – Dr. Sherry
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