It was read-central on Scandal tonight, with a couple of intense verbal body blows landing spectacularly but we'll get to that in a minute. We're still reeling from the sucker punch Jake was dealt. Excuse us while we try to strategize how we can get him out from under now that Rowan and Tom have framed him for the murder of the president's son. I know that Tom was just looking out for his own neck but now Jake, who thought he was on the verge of taking down Rowan, is probably facing the death penalt, if not worse. The promos for next week's show say not even Liv can help him but we can hope, can't we? Maybe the blackmail files he retrieved from Rosen will help.
While that intrigue was playing out, the first daughter was spiraling out of control by drinking, drugging and doing something with two boys that I had to go and Google. (I sincerely thought they were flying to Paris at first. Thanks for that, Internet and Shonda.) To top that off there's a sex tape of the whole encounter that needed to be handled. Sure, Karen would get a pass from her mom because it's all a manifestation of her grief from seeing her brother die in front of her but it was still pretty messy. Between those two storylines came these great dress-down moments:
Cyrus to Abby: Cyrus went from being completely wrung out in bed with his boy toy to helping manage the First Daughter crisis, ushering Huck and Quinn into the White House to help. When they bumped up against the wall of constant annoying insecurity that is Abby, Cyrus broke it down for her:
"You are not Olivia. You will never be Olivia. And hating Olivia for your own shortcomings will not change that fact."
(I also saw that shade you threw at Mellie: "Got some new boots on there? New color?" For shame, Cyrus.)
Fitz to Mellie: After playing the supportive husband role for months on end, all it took was Mellie losing her mind about Olivia being back in the White House for Fitz to unleash a torrent of pent-up anger at his disheveled wife, who only wanted to stake her claim as mother/fixer of the Grant family. This was even before Fitz made his move on Olivia or found out that she had been off with Jake when she left D.C. and not alone as she first said. I know their kiss was supposed to make me melt but it didn't. And not just because I've long since been over Fitz. It just left a particularly bad taste in my mouth coming on the heels of this devestating rant at Mellie.
And while that was pretty damn harsh, Mellie hit back just as hard with just two short lines : "A sex tape? She takes after her daddy then, doesn't she?" Ouch.
Papa Pope to Tom: When Rowan was winding up Agent Tom to take out Jake, he made sure it was clear who had the upper hand, who always has the upper hand.
Olivia to the pervy parents: Once the parents of one of the threesome boys told Olivia they wanted $2.5 million for the tape...and then had the nerve to increase that by $500K, you had to know that Olivia wasn't going to put up with it. And the moment that mother said some ugly things about Karen, it was on.
Special Shout-out: Kudos to Shondaland for getting the use of Prince's "Controversy." Now that's a coup.
What was your favorite part of tonight's episode?