“There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.”-François de la Rochefoucauld
Deep reflection is one of my favorite pasttimes. It's a joy I'm able to engage regularly when out doing my five-mile run. It expands my thinking and frees my soul. It's during my short runs that I tend to come up with some of my most inspired ideas. But what really fires me up with so much joy that I sometimes feel like I could burst while running are those moments when my mind lands on thoughts of all the various people who occupy my heart. Family. Friends. Teachers. Babysitters. Neighbors. Creative collaborators. Clients. Strangers collected from travel, shopping and spiritual congregations. Friends of friends. And of course the lovers; many whom no longer even provide me anything tangible.
Yet the lovers that have been the object of my affection remain in my heart taking up space free of charge. The winners and losers alike. The lighthouses and low-fi vibers. They all linger there because their impact on my life has been so profound and the growth it has provided me, simply incalculable.
So yesterday while out running, I reflected on a question that popped on my mind: In our culture, why don’t we more regularly exercise telling the people we love just how much they mean to us? Why don’t we share with them spirited testimonies about the kinds of personal revolutions their very presence has stirred or continues to stir in our lives?
Often we know just how deep the impact, but these “love stamps” if you will, live deep inside of us where no one can see unless we shine the light.
I, for one love to shine that light. It’s important to me that the people who’ve blessed me know it. I want them to be crystal clear of their value to my life regardless of how vulnerable it may make me feel. What about you?
Think of how liberating it is when you remember just how delicious is the feeling of loving; how empowering it is to realize that love has absolutely nothing to do with whether the beloved loves you back or not. Instead it has everything to do with your capacity for feeling it. How much room do you have for love?
Consider this. We don’t love those we love because they are so darn lovable. We love them because we have chosen to. I know that I love them because I accept that each person that comes across my path has been divinely appointed to do so and that there is some exchange for us to engage in order for us both to become more wholly ourselves. When you see the act of loving others this way, everyone truly is a gift. I encourage you to try this notion on for size and start a “lovefest” in your own heart.
Your Crossfade Tip(s):
Reflect on all those who’ve made a difference in your life. Make a list of at least 50 of these people. Whether they're living or deceased, experiment with loving them out loud. Do this by writing a short “love-gram” to each one expressing how you feel about them. Forward to them by whatever means you prefer or post to your social networking pages with the hashtag #lovegram. By doing this, whether they are reachable or not, you provide yourself with an opportunity to synchronize to love. More importantly, it allows you to meditate on how much you love and are loved.