While looking over prom postings on Facebook recently, I couldn’t help but think of my own nightmare. My cousin Jen was my date at my mother’s insistence. I loved her, but didn’t want to spend my evening making her comfortable with my classmates—I just wanted to have fun!
As I dressed that night, Mama pressed money into my hand for photos while gently telling me to include Jen in my picture. I protested and though I can’t remember her exact words, I left the room feeling as if my desire to “do me” was selfish.
The early part of the evening went off without a hitch—until picture time. I did the “right” thing and shared my photo. Moments later as I held “our” picture in my hand, she pulled money from her purse and stepped in front of the camera to take her solo shot.
I was flabbergasted! She had a solo picture at my prom! Meanwhile, for the rest of my life, I had a reminder that I didn’t have a real date. I felt betrayed and stupid as she made pretty for the camera. For the rest of the night, I choked down the feeling of being cheated.
Later on, Mama asked, 'Why didn’t you take a picture alone?' Trying to hide my resentment, I mumbled that I didn’t have enough money. I thought the subject was dropped, but after Jen left, Mama chuckled and said, 'She got you, didn't she?'
I was so mad my mind went blank. On top of feeling cheated, the person who had put me in the position was now mocking me. My mother made me feel responsible for giving my cousin a prom. Today, the resentment is gone, but the reality is…I lost a very important moment in my life.
Living large in your moment requires courage and the conviction that you must seize it! While we must be mindful of how our actions impact others, your purpose and future require that you put yourself first.
Here are a few things to remember so that you are prepared to act when your moment comes:
1. Be Prepositionally Correct: Our moments will require change and transition. Inevitably, somebody is going to be unhappy with our movement. Tension is a part of transition and while we have a responsibility to people—we are not responsible for their emotions. It’s not our job to make people comfortable with our change. We just have to show and let them know that they are valued.
2. Leave What’s Left You: Sometimes the only response to tension is to remove yourself from the relationship or situation. The greatest temptation during change is to demand predictability. But your moment will require faith that everything will end as it should. Don’t become so fixed on trying to create stability that you end up stagnated. When people show that they are more invested in your past than your future, don’t be afraid to create the necessary distance.
3. Be Unapologetic: We are to give when we get and share what we’ve learned. But we must never apologize for God’s blessings. Own your future boldly! This is not about having a boastful attitude that intentionally tries to shame others. Rather it is about understanding your responsibility to maximize your life! Playing small cheats God and everyone else in our lives.
Identify the changes in your life that your are resisting because you feel selfish. Journal about how much more you can bless others as you dare to live the larger life!
“I dare to live large in my life!”
Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Felicia T. Scott is a Certified Empowerment Coach™ who empowers her clients to turn their Worth into Wealth as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO the WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make” seminar MP3 on her website.