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Ask Dr. Sherry: ‘Her Boyfriend Is Secretly Taping Her, Should I Tell?’

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Dr Sherry Profile Two

You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...

Dr. Sherry,

I found out from one of my husband's friends that my husband's cousin has more than once secretly recorded himself having sex with his girlfriend and has shown it to a couple guys in their circle. According to this friend, he has also been shown naked still shots of this same cousin's ex wife. I have asked my husband about this and he seemed surprised and told me he doesn't know about it. Every now and then I see the cousin and current girlfriend at parties and she usually sits by me, and it's difficult not to think about all this or tell her. As a woman and mother it is so wrong on many levels and disgusting. The cousin is 46 with 2 boys, ages 4 and 7, with his ex wife, and his girlfriend is 31 with no kids.

Dear Sis,

This is tough to answer! As a women, your first instinct is to want to share this information with the women involved. The mere idea that someone would secretly record a woman's most intimate sexual moments and share them with other men without their knowledge is really sickening. On the other hand, this involves your husband's cousin and could stir up a lot of "stuff". You did the right thing and brought it to your husband's attention. However, it seems as if your husband was not alarmed or moved to the point of saying anything to his cousin. It is interesting that your husband's friend told you as opposed to telling your husband. Granted, he may have told him and your husband just didn't say anything about it to you. Are you close to either of the women? Given that you don't know with certainty that the girlfriend or the ex wife are unaware of what is going on, you should approach the situation very cautiously. While you may have the best intent, this is something you may want to stay clear of. Remember, there are always two sides to every story!  -- Dr Sherry

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