You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and we've been through thick and thin. I caught him cheating on me several times with the same woman. He finally confessed and said he is as much in love with her as he is with me. I don't know what to do. I love him so much, but this relationship has been so hurtful. Please help!
What should you do? Your boyfriend of two years is trying to convince you that he is equally in love with you and another women. Really? Are you buying into his bull? I think you already know what you should do, but the question is, are you ready or willing to do it? The fact that he has cheated "several times" with the same person is a clear indication that he is in a relationship with this other woman too.
While this must be painful and depressing, this is not your main problem. You do not seem to love yourself nearly as much as you love him. If you do not love and value yourself, how do you expect others to do the same? As long as you are willing to accept his behavior, he has absolutely no reason to respect you or treat you like you want to be treated.
At some point, you must decide that you deserve more from a relationship. Unless you are willing to share your boyfriend and be a part of a polygamist relationship, you must make some changes. I am sure he would be happy if you agreed to an arrangement where you shared his love with another woman. Oops! He already has this going on but failed to let you know until you caught him repeatedly cheating.
I suggest that you seek individual therapy and work through your feelings. You must learn what love really is and what it feels like to receive it. If you do not take the time to understand and take care of yourself, you will find yourself in another relationship with similar issues. If you really want something different, you must do something different! -- Dr Sherry
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