Playing the dating game can be tough if you don’t have the right rules to follow. In order to get the most out of dating as a single woman, your goals must always be a priority. The summer isn’t over yet, and there’s still time to meet that special someone who will really make you feel the heat. We checked in with TV personality Shanae Hall, whose new pocket-sized book For Single Ladies Only: Everything You Need to Know to Date Smarter is the perfect summer beach read for any woman looking to make the next date the best one. Read Hall’s tips for a sizzling summer hookup.
Take Him for Who He Is
You’re not going to change or mold a man into anything that he isn’t ready to be. Whatever he presents to you in the beginning is what it’s going to be until he grows out of that stage, on his own terms. Most women can’t change a tire, but they think they can change a human being into something that they’re not. The reason most relationships fail is because women want a man to be someone else or they have over imaginative expectations. People are who they are. Period. If he isn’t what you want, for the most part, keep searching or accept the man in front of you just as he is. People can change physically but a man’s core character and belief system don’t normally change!
Play by the Same Rules
I don’t know about you, but I like playing games in which both sides play by the exact same rules and have equal advantages and disadvantages. How do you do that? Well, for starters, you must ask the correct questions. Here is a list of questions to keep in the back of your mind to ask a man you’re dating when the time is right:
- Do you believe that it’s okay to have sex with other people while you’re dating me?
- At what point will we know that we are no longer just dating and it’s something more?
- Will you tell me when you want to be monogamous?
- Do you want me to tell you if I want to continue to see other people while we’re dating?
Now, it’s important to note that some guys will lie, so you’ll have to pay attention to the detail of your man’s behavior during the dating process. Nevertheless, you have your best shot at getting their honest feelings in the beginning when you start with the right questions first. Just be sure all your answers match up.
Don’t Give Him A Date for Sex
Let me help you out. When Steve Harvey wrote, “Tell a man he has to wait for 90 days,” he was giving that to you as a guideline to use to tell a man, hey, I’m not an easy catch. You have to invest some time, money and energy to get this. I don’t believe he meant for you to really tell someone you’re dating, “You have to wait 90 days ‘cause Steve Harvey said so,” or to actually wait exactly 90 days. You may be ready in sixty-three days. Before you decide to go there, here are some things I recommend you ask yourself first:
- Does he inquire about my kids genuinely?
- Does he offer to help me work through situations when I discuss problems that I’m experiencing?
- Is he consistent with his phone calls and does he fulfill his promises?
- Does he talk about my wants and needs, or strictly about sex every time we speak?
Depending on his answers, you’ll know what kind of person you’re dealing with. To be honest, when you begin paying attention to all of the red flags that he’s throwing up, you’ll know what kind of man you’re dealing with at the very beginning. It’s up to you to act accordingly. Good luck, ladies.