Hey girlfriend, I see you grinding everyday trying to make it to the next level. I see you putting in the work to create your own happiness. But I also see those eyes of yours turn green every time you log on to see someone on Facebook or Instagram “straight flexin’.” You know exactly who I’m talking about. “She” is the girl from high school that seems to have it all – the great job, a fine husband, fancy car, cute kids and the adorable puppy. (Not to mention, it looks like she hasn’t aged a bit since graduation.) You would never admit this out loud, but in the back of your mind as you scroll through one happy post after another, you say to yourself, “She really ain’t all that. Why does all the great stuff happen to her and not me?”
Now, give me a second. I’m going to need to channel my inner Iyanla for this one and begin with one of her greatest quotes: “Listen, beloved. Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.” Honestly, it punctures my spirit when I see people getting all caught up over what someone else is posting on their feed or timeline.
Let’s just assume that what a person is posting is actually true. (‘Cause half of what folks post is exaggerated or flat out fake). My question is, what does that have to do with you? Keeping up with what other people are doing is like continuously checking the balance in someone else’s bank account when you can’t spend any of their money. Quite frankly, it’s none of your business and does nothing for you. Especially when the information is only used for the sake of comparison. Envy and jealousy can be toxic.
My father was raised on a farm, and every once in a while, he drops what I call some “sharecropper’s knowledge” on me. He once said, “What God has for you, is just for you. If somebody else has it better than you, that’s cause it ain’t your turn yet.” If this were an album, I would put it on repeat. But instead, let me give you the remixed version: If you keep worrying and making noise over what other folks have, you will not hear God’s call when it’s your turn. And, in case you didn’t know, bitterness is not an opportunity magnet. Instead of keeping tabs on what other people are clocking, work on being ready for your end game.
If I’m talking to you, you know who you are. Oooh, nothing burns my Burberry britches more than women who throw shade on someone else’s accomplishments. Those women who are all on your thread comment section talking about “congratulations girl,” and then turn right around and post their own status update saying, “Why folks be bragging all the time?” What kind of two-faced shenanigan is that?! Here’s a question: Why can’t folks just worry about themselves and not other people?
I have a simple suggestion for women who behave like this. If you don’t truly wish someone well, then don’t fake the funk. Instead, focus on making your own goals and leave the shade for the trees.
Jai Stone – The Emotional NudistJai Stone is a socialpreneur, author, syndicated blogger and the founder of the Emotional Nudity Lifestyle Brand. Jai writes about love, life and the pursuit of authentic joy. Follow her on Twitter @JaiStone or visit her blog.