Discover Your Worth! “Willie James…your daughter is a big liar!” Willie James is my father and you guessed it…I’m the lying daughter. I’d love to say I didn’t deserve those words at the time…but then that would be a lie.
The inspiration for those words was a series of lies I told because I was afraid to go home after school one day. I was eight years old and lived two blocks from my elementary school. Every day I walked home and waited for my older siblings to get there.
On this particular day as I stepped on the porch, I encountered one of my worst fears….a lizard! There it was…flicking its huge, bright red tongue in and out. I was terrified—convinced that it was poised to attack me. It was just me, the lizard and my fear!
I tried to wait for someone to come home…but fear makes time seem like an eternity. I had to get help! I called my grandmother from my neighbor’s house. Even then, I knew fear was in control when instead of telling grandma the truth, I lied that my mother hadn’t given me a key. I told lie after lie to cover the truth!
Years later, I laugh. But, as a little girl my fear was real. In my terrified mind, that itty-bitty lizard might as well have been a dragon. As adults many of us are still turning lizards into dragons—allowing our fears to keep us from getting the things we desire. We create elaborate lies to protect our fears. But the only way to be truly safe is to:
1.Turn the Light on Our Fears: Lizards become dragons in our minds when we don’t make room for the wise insights and input of others. Fear can cause our minds to disconnect from reality and lose much needed clarity. It can blind us to our resources and value. Living life in fear is like walking through a room with the lights out, you really can’t see where you’re going. The new perspective someone outside our fear brings can help provide us with the balance and tools we need to properly address them.
I was clearly misinformed about lizards and their power. But my sister—who I trusted—had given me wrong information that I didn’t question or challenge. Maybe she was misinformed, or maybe she was deliberately teasing me. Regardless, if I’d checked the facts, new information would have challenged my fears.
2.Unpack the Lies: I was bigger than the lizard, but in my mind it had the power! We can concoct elaborate stories to protect our fears. This enables us to externalize issues that are driven by a lack of understanding our worth and resources. I have clients who have turned their fears of rejection in dating into a national “shortage of eligible good men.” It is easier to create a problem that seems beyond our control than it is to deal with the fears that drive us. You won’t get what you want…until you start telling the truth about why you don’t have it!
Do Your Work! As you read this article, whatever popped in your mind is the issue you need to face. Attack it by discussing your fear with two friends you wholeheartedly trust. Don’t just talk—dissect your fear! Strip it of excuses that take responsibility out of your control. Then, take action—even if you have to do it afraid!
Define Your Weath! This week, affirm, “My faith is greater than my fears. I choose to live the life I love and deserve!”
Recently named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Executive Coach who empowers her clients to “Turn their Worth into Wealth” as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO their WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make” seminar MP3 at www.coachfelicia.com!
Copyright 2013 by Felicia T. Scott. All rights reserved.