You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Q: I am married and eight months pregnant with our second child. Our first is a daughter who is amazing. We have been together for three years and married four months. He walked out two months ago saying he needed time to think. The time he spent at home became less and less and then I found out he is living with a new female. He cheated on me before he walked out, but when he left he made it out to be my fault. I do love this man, and he doesn’t want to file for divorce and hasn’t removed anything from our home. I want to fix our marriage, but I know I cannot do it alone. How do I let my marriage go, and what I thought was going to be forever? Please help! -- Brittany
A: Brittany, if you have only been married for four months, and this is how your marriage is beginning, just imagine what it would be like if it did last “forever.” While you are struggling with how to let go of your marriage, it is obvious that your husband has already let go and moved on. The fact that he walked out two months ago is a clear indication that he was never truly committed to the marriage. I suspect that this is not the first time that infidelity or disrespect has shown its ugly face in your relationship. If he truly just "needed time to think," he could have accomplished that without walking out on you and the children and moving in with another woman. That is the ultimate form of disrespect, especially while you are pregnant.
Any time a man walks out on you, your child, and your unborn baby to go live with another woman, you have to ask yourself, is this really the type of man that you want to be with forever? If so, why? What is going on with you that you allow yourself to be totally disrespected? Of course, he does not want a divorce. Trust me, love does not have a thing to do with that.
Have you ever heard of child support? By not divorcing you and leaving his things in the home, he leaves you hanging on while he avoids all responsibility. Do not be fooled by thinking that his not wanting a divorce is because he “loves you.” Really? There is no love in what he is doing. Right now, he has his cake and is eating it too. It’s not even his birthday. Let it go, file for divorce and move on! -- Dr. Sherry
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