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Ask Dr. Sherry: I’m 23 and I’ve Never Had a Serious Boyfriend!

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Dr Sherry Profile Two

You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...

Q: Hi! I’m 23 years old, from New York, and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. How can I improve my dating life? It is really hard for me to meet any guy who’ll actually like me. Can you give me some suggestions? Being single sucks for real, especially if you are a person who stays inside the house during weekends.

A: You must know who you are or at least be in the process of trying to figure out who you are before you enter a “serious” relationship. Dating is a process of discovery. You will find out what you like and what you do not like in the other person. Most of all, it is an opportunity to understand yourself better. I’m not sure what you mean when you say, “It is really hard for me to meet an guy who’ll actually like me.” I have to wonder, what type of guys are you attracting? Some guys are more interested in having sex than having a relationship. If you are meeting guys only interested in you physically, do not be surprised if that is all they want.

Being single can be tough depending on how you look at it. If you isolate yourself in the house every weekend, I am sure that being single would really “suck.”  It is very doubtful that you are going to meet anyone staying at home. I would suggest that you embrace all the activities that New York has to offer, but you must get out of the house to do it. 

There are three things that I suggest: 1.) Decide how you want to approach dating.  Do you want to go on a blind date? Do you want to date online? Or, perhaps you want to meet someone in a social setting? Some people utilize all three approaches but only you can determine what is best for you.  2.) Do not travel in packs with your female or male friends. Women often think that going out as a group increases their chances of meeting someone. Wrong! It is quite intimidating for men to approach a “herd” of people and, 3.) As I have heard others say: “Be cute and put It on mute!  Do not appear overly excited when you meet someone that you could possibly date. Women should never appear to be thirsty with anyone. Men especially can see this a mile away and this often determines how they approach you and treat you. Last but not least, be comfortable with who you are and exhibit confidence! You’ll get there. -- Dr. Sherry

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