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Plus Size Model in the City: Live and Dream

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African American Woman Eyes
Photo Credit: Getty Images

Sometimes life gets in the way and I forget how important my dreams are. I'm so focused on living that I forget to dream. ~ PAUSE ~ Truthfully, some of what I'm living was once a dream. And I would not be living this life had I not dreamed of it. And there are parts of my life that I could have never imagined. My life... dreams realized and a reality that I never dreamed. ~ PLAY ~ I have had endless dreams of MY kind of love. I've actually experienced snippets of it from time-to-time. The good memories are infectious and make me smile; all over. And believe it or not, the painful ones cause me to still for a moment of reflection and clarity, but the sting has subsided and the disappointment has been written off as a lesson.

I am madly in love with a man and either I've not met him or I have, but he's not yet developed into who he needs to be to be THE man for me. Today I realized that I have been so busy living life that I've stopped dreaming and optimistically moving towards the love I've prayed for, the love my life is preparing me for. The realization came to me after I stumbled upon a poem I wrote in February 2008. I think I may have posted it years ago in an earlier entry, but it set flame to my heart's passion today and I want to share...

Nice To Meet You…
 
Opened my eyes
Smiled for the future
Grateful for the present
Blessed in the past
I am thankful
I've loved with all my heart
Hurt
Heartbroken with pain that left me unable to breathe
I've been in a place that allowed inhale, but attempts to exhale result in choking tears
Weakened in my security
Strengthened in my faith
God is the reason I am here today
Today, I opened my eyes and smiled for the love that will come again
And I'll talk out loud to my baby
Don't know where he is
But he hears me
Feels me
When I speak out with ease
And say…
I can’t wait to meet you
I can't wait to make love to you
I want to take my time with you
Grow with you
Learn with you
Learn you
Suffocate each other with expression and emotion
And breathe love with you to balance it out
I can't wait to love you
See you
Know you
Look at you
I wonder what your eyes look like
I want to understand your mind’s process
Let the inner me converse with your soul
I want to know you
I want to miss you
Come home and take my panties off at the door because I can't wait to feel you
I want to hold you
Be with you
Laugh with you
Look at the family we created and smile
With you
I can't wait to meet you
And TELL you that I love you
Because I already do
 
Here's to my dreams... And yours!

XO~

PSM

Twitter: @PlusSizeModelNY

Facebook: PlusSizeModelintheCity

Drop me a line if you'd like: PlusSizeModel2010@gmail.com

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