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Plus Size Model in the City: Close

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Couple Hands
“Are you married?”

“I was. My wife passed away five years ago.”

“What was her name?”

“Maureen.”

“What about her do you miss the most?”

“We were close. That’s hard to come by. That’s what I miss most about her.  Like my children say we were closer to each other than we were to them.  I was hoping that they hadn’t noticed.”
 
I was on the airplane traveling to the ESSENCE Music Festival watching a movie I’ve already enjoyed- Mother and Child. While I saw it less than six months ago, the dialogue between Samuel L. Jackson and Naomi Watts spoke directly to me. “We were close. That’s hard to come by. That’s what I miss most…” ~PAUSE~ You know how they say each time you watch a movie you see something you hadn’t before.  I remember the scene, I remembered the basic facts, but I do not remember that line. And now, I can’t forget it. ~PLAY~
 
Close… There is a connection that is derived from intimacy that I thrive on. I have been in a few relationships, but I cannot say that I have had the same connection with each person. This particular connection deepens the intimacy and the intimacy deepens the connection. I am not talking about sex. ~PAUSE ~ I am not speaking of sex, but I must say that when the mental intimacy is deep, the sex is often wonderful! I think it has to do with the lack of inhibitions and intense comfort. I digress. ~PLAY~ I am speaking of the tenderness, the sensitivity, the ache, the understanding, the confidence, the seclusion, and the closeness that becomes undeniable when you have a connection with someone.
 
Close... It is more than love. It is friendship. It is open. It is without judgment. It is without assumption because you are not afraid to communicate for understanding; who is right and wrong is no longer important. Close. It is accepting the unacceptable because you rather that than life without the closeness. True intimacy. It is a bubble. A world that you two have created without trying. A world in which the outsiders don’t matter… Until they do. And the forces infringe on your sphere; poking, pulling attempting to burst your bubble.
 
Close… Like the absence of air. Relying on each other for comfort in a world that often challenges us with difficulty. An escape. Their presence, a phone call, an email, or a text makes everything else disappear. Lost in each other. Intimate. Close.
 
Sometimes you are lucky enough to be close with the person you are with. And sometimes that closeness existed with someone you used to know… and you are forced to remember that closeness like a memory that will always be just that… a memory. A close, intimate memory that you both share from a far.
 
XO ~
 
PSM


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