You can learn a lot from Mr. Wrong, if you're ready.
One of the biggest obstacles to having a good dating life is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. All too often, I see both women and men attempting to make a relationship work that is just not meant to be. Then many of my sister-friends get down and out when that relationship doesn’t work out. I think they should be thanking Mr. Wrong because he made room for Mr. Right.
Case in point, one my dear sister-friends was dating a guy in the fall 2011. A blind man could see that they weren’t right for each. Physically, the guy was extremely attractive, but his attributes stopped there. He was boring, not so bright and lacked a sense of humor. On the contrary, my sister-friend has an ebullient personality and is highly intelligent. Talking to her is like a sunny day while talking to him was like watching paint dry.
Following her inevitable break-up from, “Mr. Hell No,” she was sad for almost three weeks. Instead of coddling her, I laughed at her and scolded her because she wasn’t really missing anything more than the idea of having a man – wrong or not. She then followed him with a string of guys that showed little to no interest in her by evidence of their word and actions. To my sister-friend’s credit, describing it sounds much worse than it actually was, but it was baffling for me because she is an outstanding woman.
A month ago, we met up for drinks and she brought with her the new guy she had been dating. Skeptical, I dreaded meeting yet another one of her “M.W.’s.” To my surprise, it was love at first sight…for me. He was an exceptional human being, attractive, smart, witty and all of those laundry list of things you look for in a partner. More importantly, he was clearly into her and she was visibly into him.
We ended up hanging out all night and I thoroughly enjoyed not only being around him, but around them as a couple. It seemed to click in the way relationships should. We’ve all been around those two people that seem to be meant for each other and we’ve been around those two people who should never speak again. It is why I don’t understand why we can’t tell the difference in our own love lives.
Last week, she called and said those four words: “I found Mr. Right.” The honeymoon had continued. And, after seeing them together, I believed her. I’m exuberantly happy for her and I have a feeling it’s just going to get better. They’re already talking about marriage, which is a good sign from a guy. I always say, if a guy wants to marry you, he will talk about it rather quickly.
That string of bad relationships that didn’t work out was a blessing to my sister-friend. Had she been stuck in those dead end relationships, the ending of which seemed catastrophic at the time, she’d never had met her “M.R.” So, the next time a bad relationship ends, make sure you thank Mr. Wrong -- and keep it moving toward Mr. Right.
Wishing you love and ceaseless joy! Follow @NathanHWilliams on Twitter.
Nathan’s book INSPIRATION: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World is available now.