A month ago, my sister-friend and I were talking about a guy she’d been dating for close to three months. She was so excited about him and they’d had a great time. Her friends had met him, but she hadn’t met his friends yet. I encouraged meeting his friends as soon as possible.
“I get that you don’t want to bring your friends around in the early stages, but at three months you should know at least one or two of his friends,” I said. She chalked it up to them being so wrapped up in each other and not really having the opportunity. I bought it, but I’m always suspicious of someone who doesn’t want you to meet their friends or doesn’t have any.
I have had most of the same friends my entire life. And, it has been my experience that people who don’t have at least one childhood friend around are usually crazy. My sister-friend took my advice and asked him to set up a time for her to meet his friends. And, so they did.
The night out went so “well” that my friend thought the she was being “Punk’d” and kept looking for Ashton Kutcher. One of his friends showed up to drinks already drunk and “lifted” from some other substance. The other friend, who is married, showed up with a date that wasn’t his wife. And, the somewhat normal friend didn’t have any money to pay the bill at the end. Needless to say, it was a disaster and her boyfriend claimed that it was abnormal. She bought it, I didn’t.
Fast forward to last week when we met for drinks. Unfortunately, my prediction was correct. The guy had turned out to be a far cry from the representative he’d sent the first ninety days of their relationship. In fact, he was much closer to his friends. He liked to drink a lot, get high, had been borrowing money to take her out and hit on a couple of her friends. I mean, I’m good at calling things, but this one was too much. It was stranger than fiction.
I was sad for my sister-friend that it didn’t work out for her. But, glad she’d gotten rid of the guy before she was too invested in him. As she discovered, a little Inspector Gadget into his friends and how they are proved to reveal a lot about him. Good ridden to bad rubbish, as I always say.
The ninety-day representative rule is the truth. It usually takes ninety days to find out how much of the representative you’re getting from someone. If you want to get a quicker indication of who he truly is, watch the company he keeps.
Wishing you love and ceaseless joy! Follow @NathanHWilliams on Twitter.
Nathan’s book INSPIRATION: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World is available now.