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Plus Size Model in the City: Like an Angel

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Black Woman Smiling
I was deep in thought driving, listening to one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Adele.  ~PAUSE~ Lyrically and vocally, she is one of the best! I mean, she has captured nearly every emotion I've ever felt regarding relationships in at least one of her songs. ~PLAY~



"I heard his voice today/

I didn't know a single word he said/

Not one resemblance to the man I met/

Just a vacant broken boy instead/

But I won't go
I can't do it on my own/

If this ain't love, then what is?/

I'm willing to take the risk"


Lost in my thoughts and identifying with the song, the car seemed to be on auto pilot. Familiar with the route, I was barely paying attention to the environment; just on the lookout for cars, moving beings and red lights. And that's when I saw him. Like and angel. A man. A Muslim. He crossed my path as I sat at the red light. In all white. A Muslim. He was dressed in his garb - a long top and pants. And his head was crowned with a white kufi. His walk was graceful with an unsteady rock. He was disabled. His steps were awkward, but he was so focused. And I imagined that he was thankful that he could walk. I got the feeling he had not always been able. And his reality snatched me right out of my life woes.



God knows me so well. Lately, life has been, well, I'll say trying. It's not bad; I'm aware of my blessings. I've just encountered a few upsetting moments. Some very hurtful words that would not have hit so deep if they didn't roll of the tongue of one I love so deeply.  ~PAUSE~ India Arie plays in my head,
 
"One shot to your heart without breaking your skin/

No one has the power to hurt you like your friends/

Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else/

Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself/

And now your chest burns and your back aches/

From... holding the pain" ~ PLAY ~


My chest was burning. Maturity has blessed me with the ability to move a little better despite my troubles. To fake it in the eyes of the masses. I think I've been doing a good job, but my mind and heart have been heavy. Constantly working out puzzles in my mind and allowing tears to fall only when I am alone. But today as I was driving, heart full, mind racing, and feeling somewhat at a loss, like an angel, a man, a Muslim dressed in all white crossed my path and lightened my heart.
 
God is greater… than anything you can image!
 
XO~
 
PSM


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