Recently, I was having cocktails with one of my sister-friends when she mentioned that she was annoyed that her boyfriend said she was too nonchalant about their relationship. In his words, “It felt like [she] could take him or leave him.” She thought he was being silly and overly sensitive. And, she told him so.
“Players need love too,” I said to her, half-joking. My friend is the ultimate modern woman, and things that tend to affect other women don’t bother her at all. She doesn’t get flustered when women flirt with him,, if he stays out too late, or if they miss a day of texting or calling each other. Seemingly, my sister-friend is a man’s dream.
I told her that she needed to take some notes from Ms. Piggy and step up her game. At times to an extreme, it is always clear to Kermit where Ms. Piggy stands in regard to their relationship. He is her man – end of story. In a recent commercial, she karate chopped googly-eyed Vanessa L. Williams in the back declaring, “That’s my frog…desperate hussy.” Ms. Piggy was not having it.
I pulled up the commercial on You Tube, and after we stopped laughing uncontrollably, I explained my point. True, men often complain about the overbearing, controlling and distrustful girlfriend. My sister-friend, however, had taken it too far. Her laissez-faire attitude made him feel unwanted, unprotected and undesired. Three ways no man ever wants to his woman to make him feel.
Her response: “Men, kill me. They want it all. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve dated who have treated me the exact same way. So, over time I realized that since I couldn’t beat them, might as well join them.” And, she was right. Women complain about feeling those same ways far more often than men do. The thing missing in both scenarios is balance.
I’m not saying you ‘piggy chop’ every woman that looks at your man, but showing a little interest (aka jealousy) will go a long way. Everyone wants to feel appreciated in relationships, and some times that means putting up a little fight -- even if it is playful. If you don’t, it gives the impression that you don’t care. I get it. Thankfully, she got it too. And, it worked. She paid a little more attention, and he was very appreciative.
Modern times present a conundrum of dilemmas for relationships. Surely, no one wants to be in a relationship with a jealous dictator. The same is true for someone who can care the least about what you do or with who you do it. We can all learn a couple of love lessons from Ms. Piggy.
Wishing you love and ceaseless joy!
Nathan Hale Williams’ book INSPIRATION: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World is available now. Follow @NathanHWilliams on Twitter.