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Girl's Best Friend: Give Yourself the Love You Give Others

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Stressed Black Woman
The season between Labor Day and Thanksgiving is a frantic one. The post-summer, pre-holiday grind is one of the most grueling. It’s also the time when the single summer heat begins to cool off and unattached people start looking for someone to keep them warm. Too many of my friends get into fall/winter romances that usually thaw by spring; all the while forgetting about the relationship that matters the most -- the relationship with self.

It is so easy to become consumed with our day-to-day living that we forget to take a moment to check-in with ourselves. Our nature is to get it done, care for others and press repeat. If you’re like me, then your to-do-list is full by Monday morning and you’re off to the races the rest of the week. It’s especially true if you live in a fast-paced urban city like New York or D.C. or Chicago. The rhythm can be relentless, and if you’re not careful, it will take a toll on not only your body, but also your spirit.

For me, this became abundantly true this past week when I found myself extremely ill for three days and stuck in a shuffle between my bed and my sofa. Being single made it worse, because there was no one to whine to and no one to get me some juice. Thankfully, my friends came by when they could to drop things off and lend some support, but of course, they couldn’t stay long -- they had to-do lists too.

As I sat feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t tackle the myriad of things I hadn’t crossed out, and because I was having to weather this storm alone, I got to thinking. It seemed like a pattern for me. I would work and push myself until my body forced me to sit down and pay attention. Thankfully, God made my body a lot smarter than me. Although I was in pain, I ended up surrendering to the moment and accepting the forced rest.

Then, as I was flipping through the TV (bored) I came upon CNN and the most gruesome picture I have ever seen broadcast. The picture of Qadafi’s blown-out brains. I was mortified and disgusted! Immediately, I turned the channel, but once an image like that enters your spirit it is very difficult to move on or forget. I sat there upset that the programmers and producers of CNN didn’t think better than not to have shown such a grizzly image.

It continued to disturb me throughout my illness. Then, I spoke to a friend who was a physician who explained to me what might be happening to my body. Turns out I had an issue where toxins/poisons had stored up in my body and needed to be released. She explained that was probably the cause of my feverishness, aches and fatigue. She also explained that if it didn’t exit on its own that I should see someone. Sparing you the details, they did, in fact, exit my body and I immediately felt better.

Of course, being the type of person that I am I couldn’t just take it at face value. I had to interpret a deeper, more global meaning. It’s been a pretty difficult year and I’ve had to deal with clearing up some outstanding personal business, the end of business and personal relationships and other not so pleasant things. All in all, I had to clean up my house and press restart. Much needed, but it was heavy.

Then, I began to think of the Qadafi image and all of the images I choose to feed my spirit, particularly on the television. Add it all up and it’s a surprise that I’m not insane. I imagine that I’m more typical than atypical, which has brought me here. We can get so caught up in all of the running of the world and never stop to understand how much poison we are putting in our bodies and spirit. Some of it is unavoidable, while most of it is by choice.

We also get caught up in maintaining our external relationships at home, work, school and with our friends, that we forget to check on the internal relationship we have with ourselves and with the universe that lives within us. This lack of focus causes all of those toxins and negative information to build up in our bodies and spirits with no forced release. It’s allowed to fester and ultimately affects all of those relationships we work so hard to get and maintain. If you’re not giving you, your best you then, you certainly aren’t giving it to anyone

This week, and in the upcoming weeks, I want to challenge you (and me) to ask the simple question: “What are you doing for you?” Ask it every day as a constant reminder that each day you need to take even the slightest moment and do something that is just for you! Something that uplifts your spirit, inspires you, makes you feel powerful, or sexy… something that is selfishly, unapologetically all about you!
Filed Under: Girls Best Friend
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