Imagine, an after work soiree in lower Manhattan. It’s Friday. The music is great and I am surrounded by my associates and friends. The two for one, top shelf happy hour has lead me to my fourth drink. PAUSE ~ I’m saying, I am not an alcoholic or anything, but there is something about a good drink or two or three or four, in this case, on a Friday night when you know you don’t have to wake up for work the next day! So, when I am at this spot, I always enjoy myself! ALWAYS! PLAY ~ There I was running my mouth when Bearded Dark Chocolate walks up to the bar and says what’s up to one of my guy friends. I introduce myself, smile and shake Bearded Dark Chocolate’s hand. As he walks away my boy laughs, “You love a dude with a beard.” “I sure do!” I respond. And on key, like it was written in a movie I hear, “You do? You like beards?” I finally notice that one of the guys I had been chatting with at the bar who is also cool with my boy is in fact a Bearded Fella! There was a slight seduction in his question. Like maybe he wanted to say, “Well, if you like beards, why haven’t you batted your eyes at me?” I picked up on it, but wasn’t sure it wasn’t sure he was pushing up. I had met him a few times before and he never expressed interested. So, I just look him dead in the eye, smile a cute smile and state, “I love beards!” touch him gently on his shoulder and keep it moving.
The group conversation topic was now men who like thick girls. I definitely hear Bearded Fella when he says, “We all need something to hold on to.” Okay Bearded Fella! I hear you! Hold on to your thick girls! Of course I act as if I don’t hear him. Another round of drinks later, as I put my empty water bottle on the bar (I was diluting the ridiculous amounts of drinks I had), Bearded Fella and I lock eyes. I smile. He walks over to me, “You have an amazing smile.” PAUSE ~ I’ve had a few drinks, but I am no fool. He is definitely feeling me. He’s trying to push up. PLAY ~ We chat for a while. I keep smiling and hope that the two for ones don’t cause me to say something crazy. He wants to see me again and we exchange numbers before he leaves. He texts me that night to tell me how great it was talking with me and he is looking forward to conversing with me the next day.
Our first conversation lasts hours. I’m a conversationalist and if you know how to hold a decent convo, I can flow with you. Somehow relationships come up. PAUSE ~ I normally try to stay away from “the Ex” talk during the first conversation. Once we establish that neither one of us are in committed relationship, I opt to talk about less emotional subject matter. PLAY ~ But since we are on the topic, I go for it… “So, how long has it been since y’all broke up?” He answers, “A month.” Me, “Damn, that’s still new. Are you guys trying to rekindle?” “I am,” he admits. I appreciate his honesty. “But I don’t think she wants to.” Some of you may have stopped all communication with him after he admitted that he still want to be with his ex, but I didn’t care. We all go through break-up and broken hearts… I knew he wasn’t going to be my man and I was in the market for a date. Just a date. No sex, no kissing, just someone to talk to who wasn’t an ex-man trying to get back in my bed… If Only For One Night (Luther Vandross sings in my head). Bearded Fella seemed like he would do the job. By the next Friday, we were sitting at a different bar drinking, sharing appetizers and more good conversation. He was full of compliments. My hair, my perfume, my dress… I did look seductively cute. You know, not too much cleavage, but enough to make him wonder, freshly washed hair that brushes his face when I turn to laugh or get up to run to the ladies room, mascara, blush and light pink lip gloss so the lips look kissable, but I do not look made up. Anyhoo, right before the date ends, he asks to see me again, I agree we kiss on the cheek, and life goes on. He sends me text messages and calls often. We have some form of communication every day. Our phone conversation are pretty good and thought provoking. The following Sunday, we chop it upon the phone. And then I never hear from him again. I reached out once and never heard back and that was that.
Now remember, my boy knows him. One day my boy and I are on the phone and he asks, “What’s up with Bearded Fella?” I tell him that I’ve not heard from him and we move to the next topic. I promise… he was a lost thought. Every once in awhile one of my girls who knew of the date would ask if I ever heard from him; I hadn’t. About two months later, I am on the phone with my boy and he mentions he is going to an engagement party. Then he says, “Oh! You know why Breaded Fella stopped calling you. He’s getting married. He got back with his girl… changed his number and everything. I’m going to his party this weekend.” We both get a good laugh out of it.
I was actually happy for him when I heard the news. He had already told me that he wanted her back. I can’t be mad at him. He got her back and locked her down. The hopeless romantic in me who appreciates a faithful man who doesn’t give a damn about nothing but his lady, loves that he shut all communication down with his past dates, flings and relationships and totally committed to his boo. I’m just wondering if the respectful thing to do would have been to tell me… “Listen, my girl and I are back together and we’re getting married.” But then again, he doesn’t owe me a thing… It WAS just a date.
Back to the present…
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