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6 Reasons to Date More Than One Man at a Time

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6 Reasons to Date More Than One At A Time

The Dating Game

If I wasn't a matchmaker, I would be a Scotch Bonnet farmer in Jamaica...seriously, no joke! Something about the simplicity of it is very compelling. On my last trip to the island, I hung out with a few farmers and I'll never forget a nugget of wisdom one dropped on me "don't stop watering all your crops when one seed starts to sprout." WOW, can someone say #WINNING-QUOTE?It's an idea that can be applied to nearly every aspect of life, dating being no exception! There are two ways to date: sequentially (one at a time) or aggregately (more than one at a time).If you choose the former, I guarantee, on average, you'll deal with more heartache and finding your partner to jump the broom will take longer! If you choose the latter, on average, you will have a higher satisfaction level when dating and you will match with your beloved faster! I wish I had a longitudinal study I could cite to immediately silence the naysayers, but I don't. However, what I do have is several years of hands on matchmaking/coaching experience that has allowed me to interact with thousands of people and it's been through those experiences that I witnessed the strategy of 'dating more than one at a time' is where it's at! Let me be clear about "dating aggregately," I'm not saying to get your SuperHead or Kat Stacks on, nor am I saying to build a harem. Also, I'm not suggesting to juggle multiple "committed" partners. Dating more than one person at once is for you, only if you: 1) Are in the casual dating phase. 2) Are willing to be honest with people about "how you date." 3) Have the stamina to keep up with multiple dates. If you can handle it, I strongly suggest giving it a try. There are 6 reasons why I consider "dating more than one at a time" to be the MOST effective dating strategy:

Dating Takes Time

Dating takes time — and one at a time equals A LOT of time!This argument is for the statistic junkies as well as the folks with "efficiency" as their middle name. The bottom line is that if you choose to date sequentially, on average, it will take you longer to meet your beloved.According to my calculations, nearly 5 times longer.Peep the math: The average woman will date 127 men before finding Mr. Right. Assuming the average number of months you date each person is 1 (this is a very conservative estimate), dating sequentially would mean an average of 10 ½ years of dating to find your beloved! Now, let's look at the aggregately dating woman. Based on my suggestion of dating up to 5 people at once, and assuming the same 127 line of men mentioned above, at an average of 1 month dating per man, it would take this person only 2 years of dating to find "the one." "Numbers don't lie" - Jay Z

Dating Is a Learned Skill

This is a fact that those who are not "good" daters should take comfort in. There is a reason why the Pick Up Artist industry thrives and that is because there are certain skills, such as building a rapport and reading body language, that are key when dating. While reading advice columns and self-help books is helpful (I should rephrase that to...reading "select" columns and self-help books is helpful), there is nothing better than putting theory to practice - the more you date, the better you will become! Also, the better you become, the more you'll enjoy dating (which is very important).

Odds Are, He's Dating Multiple People

The reality of dating is that, whether we're honest about it or not, MOST of us are already dating aggregately - however, only few disclose it. From a survey I did with my clients, 80% of them reported seeing more than one person (at a time) during their dating life. The dagger...only 30% fully disclosed their dating habits to all people they were dating.Today, with so many ways for us to date/flirt via online dating, social media, and mobile applications, we're organically trending towards a society of "aggregate" daters. The key is to own up to it and be honest about what you're doing.

Comparison Allows You to See Who's the Stand-out

"The New Guy/Girl" syndrome is something we've all faced in dating.It's when a new person enters the picture and things seem great at first, but soon you realize they're not perfect after all and that there were qualities of your former boyfriend or girlfriend that you liked just as much.Wouldn't it have been great to have had the opportunity to compare apples to apples?Well, when dating aggregately, you won't face this issue. In real-time you can see how they stack-up against the competition.

Your Dates Will Show Intention Faster

"The New Guy/Girl" syndrome is something we've all faced in dating.It's when a new person enters the picture and things seem great at first, but soon you realize they're not perfect after all and that there were qualities of your former boyfriend or girlfriend that you liked just as much.Wouldn't it have been great to have had the opportunity to compare apples to apples?Well, when dating aggregately, you won't face this issue. In real-time you can see how they stack-up against the competition.

Don't Front... A Dating Strategy Is Effective

Ultimately, courting, wooing, dating is fun...yada, yada, yada...but it's most fun when the end result is a committed partner. I guarantee if you talk to 10 women/men in committed relationships, most would tell you they followed (even if very loosely) some type of plan to land them in the relationship they're in. PLANS ARE EFFECTIVE. This is a running theme in my pieces...we rarely do anything successfully in life without a plan...dating should not be different. Dating multiple people at once should be a component of that plan. Why? Simply because it works. Don't believe me?Take the "aggregate dating challenge" — increase the number of people you're dating at once to 5, and maintain that for 30 days.Report back to me on fb.com/PaulBrunson or on twitter @PaulCBrunson-when you do, I predict you'll have grown exponentially in your dating skills and have an overall higher dating satisfaction rate!

Paul Carrick Brunson

There you are! Here are my six reasons why you should be dating more than one man at a time! If you have specific questions about any of these tips, please reach out to me via facebook.com/PaulBrunson or twitter @PaulCBrunson

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