Every day we feature the beloved "Strawberry Letter
" franchise that is so popular on "The Steve Harvey Morning Show
," heard nationwide. Send in your letters and Shirley Strawberry will dish out the necessary advice. Today's topic: Respect
Hello Morning Crew, Steve, here is my issue. I am a 29-year-old mother of a 9-year-old daughter. I have been married to my husband (her father) for five years. I am writing because I literally cannot breathe anymore in my house. My husband and I have a pretty good relationship, except when we disagree on something or I don't manage my time well to get my wifely duties done. Steve, my husband is a few years older than me and he believes that the man is the head of the household. He controls the money, he pays the bills, he dictates our intimate life, he decides what to buy and the list goes on and on. My heart is heavy, Steve, because I feel like a slave, like a maid, like an employee and not his wife, not a woman. He demands my attention at all times, he requires respect, he requires me to cosign on everything he says or suggests. He makes demands of me that I feel are unreasonable but if I say anything to him, I receive a vicious tongue lashing. It didn't bother me at first but now that we have a child it seems so wrong. I don't want to leave because I love him. He knows I am not going anywhere and so when we argue he threatens to leave to get me in line. Steve, I feel like he won't ever change until im dead and gone. Steve, is this just how men are? I dont feel loved, I dont even remember what I wanted out of life or what it is that makes me happy? I just know that I would rather die than be without him, but I also want to die having to live with him. I'm not perfect but I'd never do to him what he does to me. Steve, how can I cope with this? I literally wish I were dead, I think he would love me then.
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- "Strawberry Letters" are letters sent from fans of the "Steve Harvey Morning Show" and therefore do not express the sentiments of ESSENCE Magazine or ESSENCE.com. As these are fan letters, we have left them as close to their original form as possible.