Thursday, August 12, 2010 | 1:27 PM
5 Digital Rules for Your Breakup
Get your finger off the send button on your phone. It's over and you and your guy need to fully break up, in real life and in virtual life. A new study from Stony Brook University revealed that breakups trigger the same brain activity that goes off when people withdraw from hard drugs. Therefore, "being on Facebook (a few clicks away from your ex) is like hanging out in a crack den," Liz Brody of Yahoo Shine writes. "It keeps you hooked when you need to be moving on." "At least once a week I get someone who's obsessively checking her ex's page," Manhattan psychologist Jonathan Alpert tells Yahoo Shine. Alpert calls Facebook a "psychological slot machine." "The important element in getting over someone is the discontinuation of contact," Scott Hartzman, MD and author of "Happily Married Women" says. "And Facebook eliminates that from the equation." Brody has come up with five steps to a digital cleanse in the post-breakup phase. 1) Do Not Text Him One More Time "Right after you've broken up, it's hard to get closure, even if you meet in person," Tina Tessina, PhD, author of "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again" tells Yahoo Shine. Considering how things can get "thumbed down" and misinterpreted through text messages, you're going to have ride this out with no communication. 2. Break Up with Him on Facebook Last week, we mentioned a few reasons why you should un-friend your ex on Facebook. No really, you should your ex. K. Jason Krafsky, who co-wrote the book "Facebook and Your Marriages" even recommends that you block your ex. That way they can't see you and you can't see them, giving you the space you need to get over the relationship. 3. It's Not "Complicated" Do not change your relationship status to "it's complicated." In fact, Krafsky says, "Don't play around with the relationship status if you're in the process of breaking up." It's just going to cause your friends to post comments like, "He was a dog anyway." Let your girls know that comments like that are not appreciated and you just need some time to heal. 4. Don't Fuel the Fire We know -- he just lost the best thing that ever happened to him. You don't need to go broadcasting all of his shortcomings across Facebook and on your personal blog. "It usually comes back to reflect badly on you," Hartzman told Yahoo Shine. Plus, "...it's just not a good idea to burn bridges that you might need later on." 5. Re-organize Your Digital Space You owe it to yourself to make your online space safe and comfortable. That's in part what blocking your ex is all about. Clean it up so that you can play safely. Read the full story on Yahoo Shine.
Filed Under: Hot Topics Relationships