More Than One Way To Catch A Cheat
To Cacth A Cheat
If you've ever suspected your man of cheating, you know the all-consuming desire to confirm your inclinations. Before you follow your husband to work and go ballistic on every woman in his office, New Orleans private investigator Brianne Joseph says leave the stake outs to the pros. ESSENCE.com spoke to Joseph to find out how to do some investigation of your own and when to decide to call in an expert to bring him down.
Show Me A Sign
It's important to recognize the signs of cheating, Brianne says. There are two very common types of cheating behavior--polite disengagement and confused engagement.
1) With polite disengagement, the cheater is still interested in his partner, but is in love with someone else. You might notice him have a sudden need for more space. He will often be more protective over his laundry and telephone.
2) With confused engagement, the cheater is in love with his partner and also in love with someone else. His behavior is manic. His affection will increase and decrease dramatically.
Jot It Down
Joseph recommends that her clients keep a journal to document what their partners say. "I tell them to ask their partners a question and write down their answer and then ask them the same question a few weeks later," Joseph suggests. "Nine out of ten times they'll get caught in a lie."
Change It Up
"I also tell people to switch up their routines," Joseph says. "Cheaters will cheat based on your routine. If you switch it up on them and come home early or late, you might catch them like that too."
Do Not Follow Him
If you're not a licensed private investigator you could get in big trouble following your man around. "Don't take it upon yourself to follow anybody It could be interpreted as stalking," Joseph warns.
Time to Call A Pro
Sadly, Joseph says nine out of times, when clients come to her with suspicions that their partners are cheating, their hunch is usually right. "For you to hire a PI, something is already telling you that things aren't right," Joseph says. She's just coming in to give them the proof that they need. "I document the evidence that you already assume and gather information so you can make an informed decision about what to do next."
The First Step
Before she goes out looking for evidence Joseph chats with her clients to learn their partners patterns so she can decide where to be and when to be there to have the best chance at catching the cheaters. "Most people cheat during their lunch break and after work [and] most of the time it's at someone's home," Joseph notes.
Licensed to Stalk
Joseph follows the cheaters around in a surveillance van, collecting video evidence of their activities. In cases where the surveillance might be used in court, she often has to gather multiple instances of infidelity so her clients can build a strong case.
The Pay Back
Here's where spending money on a private investigator can pay off: "The evidence is useful for divorce cases," Joseph says. "It could be advantageous in court. Judges will rule more in your favor if you have proof of infidelity and it really plays a part in the division of property."
About Brianne Joseph
Thirty-two-year-old Brianne Joseph has been a licensed private investigator for the past four years. She is currently establishing her own firm, Sly Fox Investigation, that will specialize in domestic investigation, including infidelity, domestic violence and child negligence.