While the bedroom is where
all the magic happens, sometimes we just get tired of retiring to our quarters to get coital. We thought of a few common alternative locations where we fantasize about getting it on. Take our quick quiz to find out if you’re next sexual fantasy will lead you to the office conference table, your favorite restaurant’s restroom, under a tree in the park or on the dashboard of your new sports car.
1. On a Sunday afternoon you like to… a) Get ready for the week ahead b) Enjoy a long leisurely brunch c) Chill with friends in the park or on a beach d) Go for a long drive and take in the scenery
2. When do you find yourself fantasizing about sex the most? a) During the last few hours at work when your mind starts drifting off b) During your lunch break when you’re free to be alone with your thoughts c) On a Sunday afternoon, as you stroll along a nature trail d) On your drive home from work, when it’s just you, the radio, and the scenery flying by
3. Who would you prefer to have a naughty fantasy with? a) The young cutie in your office b) The fine barista at your local coffee shop c) The hot and sweaty lawn guy d) The sexy mechanic at your auto shop
Add up your score: a=1 pt. b=2 pts. c=3 pts. d=4 pts. You scored: 3 to 4: You’re the Office Slut Every day you pass by your conference room and images of yourself sprawled out on the large oak table fills your mind. In a perfect world, you and that sexy new temp down the hall end up working late. You call him into the conference room to brief him on office procedures. Little does he know your presentation includes more than just a boring slideshow. You point to all the places on your body where you’d like him to work on. When it’s time for question and answer, he eagerly asks, “when should I start?” You crawl toward him on the conference table and tug his tie–a la Jessica Rabbit–and say, “How ’bout now?” He slides you off the table, pulls down your slacks, bends you over the table and spanks you with the dry eraser before he gives it to you like his job depends on it.
You scored 5 to 7: Turned On At the Table He’s been asking for it all night. You and your guy are having dinner with your best friend and her husband. Somewhere between the appetizer and the entree, he slid his hand under your dress and has been stroking and squeezing your upper thighs and the curve of your bootie. He’s surprised to learn that you conveniently forgot to wear any underwear to dinner. His hand is getting closer to your sweet spot. You can’t concentrate on your food. “I have to go to the restroom,” you declare, almost too loudly. “Will you excuse me.” A few moments later, he says to your friends, “That wine is really going through me! I’ll be right back.” You hear a knock on the bathroom door. You twist the lock and shuffle him in. There’s no time to waste. Your left foot is firmly planted on the cold floor, your right leg is wrapped around his waist and you two redefine the term “surf ‘n’ turf.”
You Scored 8 to 10: Passion of the Park You watched “Jason’s Lyric” and never got that image of Allen Payne’s butt between Jada Pinkett’s thighs on a bed of flowers out of your mind. You swore, when the time was right you’d re-invent the moment. You and your man have had a lovely day picnicking in the park. It’s almost sunset and people are packing up and heading home. “Oh, I forgot something,” you say with a sly grin on your face. You reach back into the picnic basket and pull out a few yards of cloth rope. “Tie me to that tree,” you say glancing over to the large oak tree in the woods right behind you. He hesitates but grabs the rope from you, leads you to the tree, wraps the rope around you, and slides up your skirt. If you scream in ecstasy in the woods and no one is around to hear it, do you still make a noise? Yes!
You Scored 11 to 12: Fast and Furious You just bought a new car and you’re so excited. You’ve hooked up your ride in every way–rims, tint, a banging stereo system. All that’s left is the christening. You call up your man and urge, “Let’s go for a drive.” You arrange a time to pick him up and honk your horn when you get outside his house. He hops in and you’re off, Aaliyah’s “Rock the Boat” plays as you press your foot on the accelerator. You drive up to the highest lookout point and park. You look over at him and take off your tee-shirt. He catches your drift. He slides his seat back and you shimmy over to his side of the car. Sitting on his lap with your back turned to him, you two go straight into overdrive and he shows you why you remind him of his jeep.
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