With Valentine's Day around the corner, we've got love on the brain more than usual. If you're single, you may be thinking about figuring out how to be coupled up by this time next year. Steven James Dixon, relationships expert and author of "Men Don't Heal, We Ho: a Book About the Emotional Instability of Men," says to find the right guy, you've got to change what you're focusing on. Here are five of his ten things to look for in a man. (Be patient, there's more tomorrow.) A few good men recently popped the question to their girlfriends with the help of ESSENCE. Which one is your favorite? Read More: Read Steven James Dixon's 10 Ways to Go From Girlfriend to Wife. Find out why "Wife" is better than Wifey.