Getting out of His Game

Even though he may have played you like a baby grand, getting out of a relationship with a ladies’ man is no easy proposition. Making a break will require that you:

Break your silence. Ask straight questions and tell him why you’re asking. If you don’t get straight answers, run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

Declare rather than debate. State your intention to move on, then do exactly that. Avoid the trap of trying to get him to agree with your decision. Your role is not to transform his thinking, but to inform him of yours.

Don’t go it alone. Maintain a support system of people who’ll be there to help you keep your commitment to remove yourself from the game.

Take a pass on “maintaining the friendship.” Leaving the door open only makes you vulnerable to his game. Change your phone number and e-mail address; do whatever it takes to cut ties with him.

Debrief yourself. As easy as it may be to view yourself as the victim, it’s important that you own up to the part you played in the player’s drama. Reflect on what may have tempted you to join in his game. Be brutally honest.

No matter how long you may have stayed in a relationship that dishonored you, there are sure benefits to leaving. Chief among them is the chance to regain respect for yourself and the confidence that you’re capable of making wise choices in your own best interest.

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